‘Estarfin…
…meldanya, can you hear me?’
It was hard to focus, to concentrate with the clamour of the Men around me, jostling each other and robbing me of almost all my belongings. One roughly pulled off my betrothal ring. I would have driven Sarphir through him, had one of his companions not already taken my sword. I closed my eyes as they bound my hands. I would get back both the ring and sword.
'Estarfin…hear me. We need you, Parnard and I.'
'Hmm?' It was the lightest of touches, as if he brushed his fingertips over my face. He is asleep, I realized.
'Hear me, dear one. We are captured nigh Duillond. There are nigh twenty five men. I cannot fight them all, though Parnard has tried. They have Hobbits with them.'
'Hmm….' He tossed and turned, almost awake, but our ‘link’ grew no stronger.
"I’ll take her on my horse,” a Man was saying. “Pass her up. Here’s a good seat for yer, darlin’.”
I was lifted unceremoniously onto a horse, into the hold of a bearded burly Man in much need of a bath. He ran a grubby hand through my hair.
‘Estarfin…please -!’
‘Will I fail her…am I good enough?'
‘What?’
I clamped my eyes shut. ‘Concentrate’, I told myself.
'…fail her...'
His thoughts trailed off in some recriminating dream. Failure? When had he ever really failed? It bothered me that he thought so, but at that moment my need was foremost.
‘No, no…you will not fail. I trust you. I believe in you. Just hear me, so that you know what is happening.'
I saw Parnard across the glade, a rope around him as the leader of these Men urged his mount forward, yanking my cousin off his feet and dragging him away. I needed no osanwe to imagine his thoughts as he disappeared into the night. I feared the worst for him.
Osanwe was no science. It was there, or it was not, depending on how open participants' minds were to each other. Some had close and strong links, sometimes built up over many yeni. But Estarfin and I had not been together that long. When he called from the snowdrift in the Hithaeglir there was no guarantee I would hear him, yet I did. Momentary and fleeting, I had known he was in danger and had gone to search after him. In Mirkwood we had begun to sense each other's thoughts more: why did he not hear me now?
'Artanaro…' I called him by the epessë I had given him when we were betrothed, and for a moment he ‘saw’ me, and reached out a hand as if to hold onto me. 'Racarne?'
Then he faded. It felt like a dagger being pulled from my heart.
I realised: he had not shut me out, I had broken the link. Tears ran down my face. The Men wanted him. From the little I could make out, the Men wanted Estarfin the most. And in my folly I would summon him to me? By no means! The memory of that briefest touch faded, and I felt strangely alone.
I recalled what he had once said to me, when we had rested on the edge of the Old Forest. “There is undoubtedly something between us, but whether it will be for good or ill remains to be seen.” I had questioned him, seeing no ‘ill’ in us being together. “One of us will end up leading the other to their death,” he had replied.
I could not, would not call him into a trap. I would survive whatever they planned, and find out who wanted him, for I had reason to live beyond any dreams of the past Ages.
As I settled into the uneasy pace of the ride, I told myself he would think he had been dreaming. But perhaps, when he knew we were missing he would remember a little? Would he understand?
'It is a trap for you, meldanya! They take us so that you will follow. We need you, but I need you alive. Have your wits about you, and follow us not alone, or at all.” In thought I laid my fingertips lightly over his eyes. “And if you cannot, know I will come home to you, one way or another.'
Osanwe: A Quenya term meaning the interchange of thought, which can only happen if the receiver's mind is open. It is strengthened by affinity between those communicating, and urgency on behalf of the sender. (Parma Eldarlamberon 17, J R R Tolkien 'Words, Phrases and Passages in Varrious Tongues in 'The Lord of the Rings.' )
