“I still cannot believe that she does not wish to see me,” said Parnard as he walked in small, aimless circles around the room, the words of Captain Brethenel still ringing in his ears.
“He did not say she did not want to be betrothed, did he? Only that he would not permit it," said Danel.
“If that is her choice - perhaps she knows that only pain could come from it?” said Estarfin.
Parnard stopped pacing to stare at Estarfin. “You mean she refused, for her father's sake? Then it may be that, given enough time, she will change her mind?”
Estarfin shook his head. “I do not know her mind. It can be hard to disobey one’s father.”
“But she is one hundred and fifty - !”
“Exactly. So young,” said Estarfin. “It can be hard to disobey one’s father.”
“The Captain will never permit it, Parnard,” said Danel, unwilling to feed her friend false hope, but could not help adding, “But when she is independent, well, who knows what may happen?”
“She must know that I am here!” said Parnard. “She would have sought me out by now, if she cared at all.” He stopped pacing to stare disconsolately at the fire, resting one arm on the chimneypiece and placing his foot on the fender.
“Not if her father has forbidden it. The Captain seems to still see you as a misfortunate youth. He is wrong: we told him so,” said Danel, sniffing the air as a peculiar odor wafted through the air, then seeing smoke curling up she cried out, “You are setting yourself alight!” and pushed him away from the fireplace.
Parnard yelled, stamping his smouldering foot on the floor to extinguish it, then making a loud cry of anguish wailed out, "Captain Brethenel was right!" and fell across a settee in a sorry, despondent state.
“No, he was not,” scolded Danel. “If you are good enough for keeping Noldor company, you are good enough for anyone.”
“Then why does Captain Brethenel not see it?”
“Because he can only see his family’s pride and honour,” answered Danel.
“Because he is a soldier, and you are not. He does not value what he does not understand,” Estarfin said with a sigh.
“I know, I know...you wish to console me. You are good to do it. And you are both correct: it is hopeless! Shall I list his reasons as to why I am unsuitable for his daughter? I wrote them all down.” Parnard searched his pockets, but unable to find the slip of paper, gave up and slumped back against the settee.
“Parnard, if I were you, I would throw that list in the fire,” said Danel.
“I shall do that, whenever I find it. Oh, how can I prove myself to the Captain! What will erase my past misdeeds? Or is this hopeless, too?” Clutching a cushion, he stuffed it over his face.
“It was not long ago that you were before me, on bended knee, pleading for your life as I held a sword above you. Yet now I am here, speaking on your behalf,” Estarfin told him, and patted him on the shoulder.
“That was only because you were merciful,” Parnard mumbled into the cushion, then cried out, “What is the use! It is hopeless!” His spirit was high and proud, and his feelings deep, and these were keenly wounded. He tried to rally his mind, to think it possible that some future success might yet be his, but no! It was impossible, a fool’s dream. The realization took his breath away, and wishing for nothing else than to blot out all memory, he decided that the best thing to do was to sit up and drink wine properly. “I must bear it,” he decided.
“Yes, you will, if you are determined,” Danel said. “Although you cannot change the Captain’s mind now, it does not mean you never will,” and then she spoke of how one of the seven sons of Fëanor, Prince Caranthir, erstwhile captain of Estarfin, did not wish for them to marry, and how this Prince Caranthir did not change his opinion for some years, as he was so very angry with her, but he eventually relented, changing his mind shortly before he died.
Yet the disappointed suitor remained unmoved by these kindly meant words, meant to encourage and uplift, and as he drank Parnard’s mood shifted from self-reproach to anger, and so did his speech. He began to voice scathing invectives about the terrible obstinacy of Captains, and how they have always conspired to see him made miserable for reasons he knew not, nor would he ever care to understand, even if all the Captains in the world gathered together to explain it to him. Then, as the strong wine wormed deeper into his brain, he became calmer, and informed the two Noldor that he should never have returned to Mirkwood, but at least there was some purpose to their journey, for he found one or two Wood-Elves who might apprentice to them, and he managed to say, “They might seem, well, untutored, and that is because they are, but they cannot help it, so we must be patient,” before lapsing into a gloomy silence.
“What do you think about it, meldanya,” Danel said to Estarfin. “We could have apprentices. I would teach jewelcraft and lore, so that our skills do not die out. And perhaps you will find a student for the forge?”
Estarfin shrugged. “Perhaps. There is space enough.”
Danel’s face was now glowing with excitement. “And you, too, could have an apprentice, Parnard.”
“For what!" he scoffed. "Wine drinking?”
“Perhaps for wine making?”
“I do not make wine, I drink it!” snapped Parnard.
“Dearest Cousin, I know of naught that will take away your heartache overnight. But you have loyal friends in us, we Noldor, who will never turn our backs upon you," Danel said.
Estarfin, thinking of ways to cheer up his friend, suggested they go outside to spar. It always cheered him when he was feeling low.
Parnard shook his head. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no,” he said, waving a hand at them. "Go, go, if you must. I will stay here and bear it.” Taking up several bottles of wine of a particularly deep ruby hue, he carried them back to his place on the settee, and lined them up in a row before him. “Very poor company I am tonight,” he informed the Noldor, who were reluctant to leave him, and watched him drink down the first bottle, letting it fall empty from his fingers. The other bottles soon followed suit, and eventually the two Noldor left him curled up on the settee in a drunken slumber, thinking him harmlessly incapacitated.
******
“At least you have not drunk yourself to death,” said Danel, kicking aside wine bottles to adjust a pillow under his head. “Come, now. Try and sip a little more water.”
Parnard pushed the glass away. “Leave me be!" he complained. "Or pour out another glass of wine."
Danel upended the glass of water on his face. “Oh, silly me!” she cried. The Wood-Elf coughed and spluttered, wiping water from his eyes, and thinking he was outdoors and it was raining, fumbled around for his cloak.
“I know your heart aches, and it is the worst of all pains, but please, Parnard, have some respect for yourself. There are two ways forward. Continue to lie here on the floor for hours, or I can mix a tonic to help. You are worth more than -” then she heard a slight cough behind her, intended to attract her attention, and on turning round, saw a young maiden in a white dress looking upon the interesting scene.
“Alas, you visit when my cousin is ill-disposed. I must attend to him,” she said to the stranger.
The maiden put a hand to her mouth in surprise, and said that she was told to come at this hour, and the door was open, but she could see that Lord Parnard was not well, so she would leave at once.
“Wait - are you by any chance the person Parnard spoke with about becoming an apprentice? I am Danel of Thargelion.”
The visitor curtsied low, and said in a timid voice that her name is Marawendi.
“There is no need to fear anything here, apart from my cousin’s folly. Do you, by chance, know how to make a remedy for too much wine?”
Marawendi thought about it, and answered that it was good to drink the white of an egg and salt. “Time and rest is what is most needed,” she added. “But if you have oyster juice -”
“Do not think ill of him,” said Danel.
“It is his lordly way?”
Danel smiled at her naive candor. “He is far from a fool, but he suffers greatly just now. Sit with him while I brew a remedy. Parnard,” she called out. “Marawendi is here.”
The maiden knelt down by him, and concerned that he was not breathing, as he was so quiet and pale, peered closely into his face.
“Turn his face aside if you think he will vomit,” said Danel. Marawendi immediately sat back on her heels looking anxious at this prospect. “There are eggs and salt, but no oysters, only freshwater prawns. These will have to do.” She cracked the eggs into a glass and with a fork mashed the prawns and eggs together.
“None for me,” murmured Parnard. “I shall ne’er eat again.” Then he rolled over and fell fast asleep again.
“This is not food, Cousin.”
“Perhaps we should let him be,” said Marawendi.
“I think so. But if he awakens in the same state we will make him drink it,” and she put the glass on a nearby table. “I confess I am very concerned for him. He has never been like this before, not like this. Fret not! Lord Parnard can usually hold his wine.” She gave the maid a reassuring smile.
“I do not understand what ails him.”
“Matters of the heart. They are never easy for any of us to bear. Would you like to stay a little and talk about this apprenticeship? At least until Parnard wakes? Sit, please. He told me little of you, save that you are interested in traveling west with us to Ered Luin. Do help yourself to some wine or juice. ”
“Ered Luin?"
“Ered Luin, the Blue Mountains in the Westron tongue, lie near the coast. It is a most pleasant place forested with trees, but no woods there are as vast as Mirkwood."
“If that is where we must go, I will go,” replied Marawendi.
“Does your family know Parnard?”
“My great-uncle is a long-time friend of his. They grew up together.”
“Ah, a tale I would like to hear more of, at the right time. For now, I wish to ask you a few questions, if you do not mind? My first question is, how will you feel leaving your family and friends? You can return here, of course, but we will not be traveling back and forth. I do not want you to be homesick and unhappy.”
“My brother said he would visit me.”
“Oh? He is welcome to visit whenever he wishes. We are a small household of Noldor with a very efficient housekeeper and a stablemaster. And then there is Estarfin. His bark is far worse than his bite, so to speak.” Danel smiled.
“The dark Noldo folk have been speaking of?”
Yes. He tends to be - memorable. My next question to you is, are you willing to do what is needful? We ask that you help our housekeeper in the mornings: assisting with cooking and feeding of the chickens, milking the cow and goats, and so forth. In the afternoon, you would be learning gem craft or lore. And the evenings are yours to spend as you wish.”
“Yes - oh! The lord wakes!” said Marawendi, for Parnard was doing his best to struggle to his feet, and had grabbed the edge of the tabletop to steady himself. Snatching up a half-drunk bottle of wine, he whirled around to face them. “To the ladies!” he said, holding out the bottle of wine in toast, then drank it down.
“Cousin,” warned Danel, “you have had more than enough wine.”
Parnard sighed, shaking his head, and staggered across the room to trip over a bench and fall on his face.
“You cannot drink the Captain away, you know.”
“I know it,” he answered up from the floor, and started to sob: he had crossed over the benchmark, so to speak, into that most maudlin kind of inebriated territory that his brother Culufinnel disparagingly called ‘the weeps.’
“What can we do!” whispered Marawendi.
“Dear Parnard, you deserve better; we shall go home tomorrow. Numenstaya is your home now, where you are loved and respected,” Danel said.
He raised his tear-stained face from the floor, eyes red and glassy, and said, “I know it, I know it, Cousin! You and Estarfin are so good to me,” then broke off into another crying jag.
“This is not my land, or I would march straight to the Captain. If any dare insult you - ware! I am angry they did not see fit to inform you of the situation. That is no way to act. They hid, like cowards.”
“Ahhh!” Parnard cried out, as if stabbed through the heart, and tore at his hair in agony, then sprawled out at full length on the carpet, insensate again.
“It is poor for anyone, let alone one who claims noble blood, to treat another so," said Danel. "Parnard spoke with that Captain in all good faith and was slapped aside as unworthy,” she told Marawendi. “It may be the Captain’s way, but it smacks of ignorance. I think he cares not for his daughter’s happiness.”
“People say he wishes to see his daughter marry one of his favorite lieutenants,” said Marawendi. “That is what folk in the kitchen say.” She blushed and bowed her head.
Danel looked at Marawendi, realization dawning on her face. “Below stairs gossip is usually more truthful than above stairs diplomacy - but all the same, Captain Brethenel should have sent a message to Parnard, rather than let him cling to false hope, and travel all this distance to be sorely disappointed.”
“Perhaps the Captain has many cares on his mind?”
“He probably does. So do many.”
“Will the lord be - ” Marawendi began, but could not think of the right word to say without sounding impolite.
“Sober? He enjoys wine. He is lively and mirthful. This,” she waved over at Parnard’s prone figure, “this is not him you are seeing.” Marawendi nodded. All she could see from her vantage spot was his feet sticking out from behind the bench: why was one of his slippers burnt?
Parnard groaned, rising unsteadily to his feet, and stumbling along the length of the long dining room table, grasped hold of the tasseled table runner at its end, pulling all the crockery onto the floor with a crash.
“That can be replaced,” said Danel.
“Why! Why!" he cried, colliding against the far wall, and outraged that it was in his way, beat his fists in drunken fury, smashing several holes in the plaster before crumpling to the floor.
“Because the Captain is an arrogant and ignorant elf,” Danel answered. “It pains me to see what his callousness has done. Among the Noldor, it would require a duel.”
“But you will not do that! Please, please, do not harm our Captain!” cried Marawendi.
“For Parnard’s sake, no.” She arose from her chair, and sitting close said, “Cousin, hear me. Tomorrow Estarfin and I will take you home, away from where memory is cruel and you can recover as you will at Numenstaya. We shall not return here.”
“I shall ne’er return here!” wept Parnard through fast-flowing tears.
“I think it best,” said Danel.
“The Captain would like to see me leave, no doubt!” he said, and sat up, a wild look in his eyes. “If I ever see that Captain again - I might do him a mischief!”
“What will he do now!” cried Marawendi, tears springing to her eyes, and said that she feared the lord had lost his wits, and that Captain Brethenel would rather see Danel imprisoned than allow a duel in Felegoth.
Danel was unconcerned. “What the Captain would like matters not,” she told them both, and turning to the maiden asked, “My final question to you is: do you still wish to come with us, Marawendi? I think you would do well with us. But you see what we Noldor can be like: we defend our own. Still, I would rather we leave at once, and brush the dust of this place from our feet.”
Seeing how things stood, and how calm and poised Danel was, Marawendi decided at that moment to be just like her, and folding her hands in her lap demurely replied that she was willing.
“Good,” said Danel, admiring the elf-maiden’s composure. “Can you be ready swiftly?”
“I do not have much to pack, my lady,” she replied, making another deep curtsy, and hurried away.
Danel watched her leave, then said, "And you, Parnard: you must do what is best for you."
‘What is the use in that!’ he thought, realizing that he would not be happy nor satisfied even if Captain Brethenel was wiped clean from the face of the earth, because it would not change anything as his daughter was not disposed to love him for anything in the world, and it was useless to entreat her with further messages. And now his conscience nagged at him; Marawendi's presence made him recollect his promise to Ailanthas, who had entrusted him with the safekeeping of his young great-niece. Parnard heaved out a sigh and put his head in his hands. “Tomorrow, we leave,” he muttered.
“Well, done, Cousin!” said Danel, embracing him. “You will show the Captain that you do not give a fig what he thinks or says. Tomorrow will be a better day."
