[ TRIGGER WARNING: This entry has mentions of character death and grieving. Read at your own risk! ]
[ Continued from the last part.]
-
"That's why else I came, Sweetmeat. Rian said ta come get ya... to bring you home."
Finchley nodded and bravely attempted a smile, though it was laced with unimaginable sadness and tears still poured down her face like twin rivers. Xandilif was going to take her there; to a place called home. But that smile didn't last for too long and she curled in on herself again, hand returning to clutch at her chest once more as the next wave of heartbreak crashed into her. "It hurts... Oh, how can he be gone? I was supposed to fly back to him."
Bild said nothing, still waiting with his bundle, not wanting to disturb Finchley or Ryn, who was currently curled up against a nearby column, expression a mixture of sadness and anger. Xandilif ran her fingers over Finchley's hair comfortingly.
"I know... I know... I... Yeah... Ain't no way to deal with this easy. None of us are, so why should you, least of all. And Rian... God, Rian..."
Hearing this twisted the proverbial knife within her chest and made her wounded heart feel like it had sunk clear to the bottom of her stomach like a stone in water. She pushed herself into a half upright position. ""She's... not gonna fade is she? I read that elves can. Please tell me she's not." Amidst her sudden worry and seemingly neverending grief, Finchley finally registered that someone else was there and turned her head over her shoulder, wiping her eyes. Seeing Bild standing there made her feel like weeping anew but she held fast against her own tears for the moment. "B-Bild..."
Bild smiled gently at Finchley. "I overheard..." he murmured. Xandilif, annoyed with herself for not having noticed the Dwarf's presence this entire time as well and distrustful of strangers, slowly reached for her greatsword, Silverwand. The Dwarf moved to set the bundle down by Ryn but when he saw the elf reaching for her sword he leaned back, eyes wide. Finchley quickly reached over to stay the Champion's hand.
"W-Wait, Lif! Wait! Bild's a friend. He-" She frowned and looked to Bild again. "... You've gone through all of that to give me that cordial and then all of this happened. I'm sorry."
Xandilif did, indeed, stay her hand but held Finchley a little more protectively. Bild smiled again, weakly, shaking his head at Finchley, and very slowly bent once more to lay the bundle down. "... Balm-of-athelas and bandages, in trade for the iodine. You may still need them, and the cordial, if you are going to see him yet," he said, in his gentlest tone.
Finchley sort of scrambled a bit to turn around in Lif's hold to properly face Bild, pulling Lif's strong arms over her shoulders like some sort of security blanket. She managed to chuckle wetly and wiped at her eyes again. "A-Aye, I probably will... You'll let Silwë know that I'm really grateful for it, won't you? Until I can do it in person."
"Of course I shall."
With a nod, Finchley then turned to look at Ryn. "Ryn? Ryn, I'm so sorry. I brought you all this way with me and all this happened. You could have been with Clay."
Ryn shook her head, roused from her thoughts by hearing her name. "N-No... I-I couldn't have been... D-Dom will have seen to that." she said, barely in a whisper.
And that's enough to set poor Finchley to crying yet again, though she valiantly tries to rein it in. "H-He's got no right!... He's got no right to do that to you." She put her head in her hands and took a few deep breaths. She couldn't give into total despair this day. She didn't want to. "Everything's gone so wrong. How can I fix it? How can I even begin to fix any of this?"
"Ya can't, Sweetmeat," replied Xandilif. "Ya can just survive it. Some shite don't fix. But we can't stay here; we got a long ride ahead. Rian wants you home..."
Blida does speak up at that, gently. "Aye, none of it is yours to fix. You must give love and kindness to yourself, Finchley."
Finchley dried her tears, yet again, and disentangled herself from Xandilif to stand somewhat shakily. "Even so, there has to be somethin' I can do." She turned and smiled sadly at the Champion, offering her both of her shaking hands to stand. "Aye, I'll come. I'm gonna owe you... so many drinks." Her smile grew a little lopsided as one corner of her lips quirks upwards.
Xandilif stood and reached out to affectionately muss up Finchley's hair.
The woman stepped over to the bench, not even trying to fix her hair, and retrieved the bag of hazelnuts and the flask of miruvor she had left there. She looked the cordial over and opened the flask to have a small sip, thinking that she definitely needed some right now, lest she lose what little strength she had for the ride ahead of her. Bild watched with a slight smile, though hollow and heavy.
Like clockwork, that tiny amount of the sweet drink seemed to give her a boost, calming the shaking in her hands and making her knees more steady underneath her. It did nothing, however, for the pain she still felt in her chest.
Xandilif glanced at the strangers and squared her shoulders. "I'll wait outside for ya, Sweetmeat." She then stepped across the courtyard and out of the Last Homely House.
Finchley turned and looked to both of her friends. "I'm goin' with Lif... Ryn, I won't ask you to sacrifice anymore time you could be havin' with your brother. And I don't feel right draggin' you all the way to Gondor and puttin' you right in the middle of what's happened. It's not fair. And, if you cannot go back, I will come back for you when all of this blows over." She then looked to Bild again. "... I think I'll be leavin' that fool bird here with the elves and I'll come back for him eventually too. Do you think maybe Lady Cyanite might have a look at his wing while you're all still here? In case I've missed somethin'?"
Bild nodded slowly along with Finchley's plans. "I will, though Cyanite's knowledge of husbandry is not extensively medical. The Elves will do right by him, and hardly a better place could he convalesce than the Valley." He smiles at her reassuringly -- doing what he can to make this one less worry for her to carry. "And Rivendell is safe, Miss Ryn, and only those with kindness and good intentions in their hearts are permitted under Master Elrond's roof."
Finchley kneels down by Ryn and wraps her arms about her. "I promise, Ryn, I won't forget you. And I'll feel better for knowin' that you're safe and sound."
Carneryn furrowed her brows and returned the embrace "A-Alright..." she said, before releasing Finch again, "I-I'll be fine..."
Blida smiled worriedly at Ryn, then bent down to heft the bundle of medical supplies. "May I see you off, Miss Finchley? Help pack these..."
Finchley sucked in a breath, holding it within her chest for a moment, before letting it out in a sigh. She nodded to Bild and smiled, though it was clear she still felt so very heavy with grief. "Thank you Bild, I'd like that."
And so the two of them headed up the ramps again to enter the Hall of Rest. There, Bild looked on as she packed this things she had brought with her, as well as the bag of hazelnuts and the miruvor, into her satchels.
"I'll do everything I can to be sure Miss Ryn is in good hands while here," murmured Bild, to which, Finchley smiled softly.
"... Thank you, Bild. For that and for everything else you've done for me so far. I promise, one day I'll find a way to thank you like I want to."
Bild smiled wide, gentle and sincere. "Worry not about it now. Only keep yourself safe and well."
Finchley closed up all her bags and slung both over her shoulder. She turned and sighed heavily. "I-I shouldn't keep Lif waitin'. I should go or else I'll start cryin' again."
"Crying is entirely appropriate for the situation," Bild said gently as he trotted along swiftly after her, carrying the bundle of medical supplies he got from the healers for her. Exiting the Hall of Rest, the two of them descended to the courtyard once again and then stepped out the large doors. Xandilif was waiting nearby, as she had said she would.
Finchley stepped up to the elf and attempts another smile, even it it was a sad one. "I'm ready, Lif."
"About Rian," Xandilif said, turning to Finchley. "I am not sure what is gonna happen. She ain't gonna fade... She can;t no more anyway... She is takin' it hard though... She is hunkered down with Cyndwin and Tuile."
Finchley frowned and looked like she might cry for the umpteenth time this evening. Instead, she took a deep breath and held down her composure. Bild stood quietly nearby her, playing the part of the best Emotional Support Dwarf. "I... I'll do what I can for her. I know she loved him too. Longer'n me."
"She told me ta bring her sister home," the elf continued. "And that is what I am gonna do... But your world is about ta get messed with. You know that right? This ain't gonna be like opening no window to the wide world. The wide world is kickin' in your fecking window and dragging ya out by the ears."
Finchley laughed wetly and one tiny tear escaped her careful hold on her composure. "I-I think it's fairly messed up now already. I'm... gonna have to figure out how to put myself back together somehow. I won't run away from it, even if it gets really hard."
"Good... 'Cause it is."
"I promise, I won't run."
Xandilif looked at her, in what was now, clearly and unabashedly, affection. "I know ya won't, baby girl."
Finchley then turned to receive the bundle of medical supplies from Bild. After a quick moment, she leaned forward to envelop the Dwarf in a hug again. Bild returned the embrace, tight and strong as his puny arms could give. "Pray, write, if you have any wish. Call on us, if you have any need. But above all, Miss Finchley -- take care of yourself, and live..."
That was enough to break the dam and set Finchley to crying again, despite herself, but the smile she gave Bild then was somehow quite bright. "I will."
Blida straightened up, looking at Finchley with solemn affection as she gave him a wave before setting off with Xandilif towards 'home'.
(to be continued)
