To Rûndis, my Moonlight,
I understand now why they call it Moria. They were right, all of them who told us not to come. But it is far too late now, we have delved too deep.
Frimsi brought a ring. A cursed ring. Cursed by the Nameless, by the source of the whispers that have been tormenting Narali since our arrival. Why did we not realise sooner? How did we not notice that the Expedition was cursed from the start?
This Ring has found something within me. Something that hid deep within my heart, and it is terrifying. What I almost did to Kharsi… I do not have the strength to tell you now. But I will tell you how we got rid of this Curse.
We put everything on hold once the decision was made. Whatever we could ever try to do, having the Ring with us would greatly hinder our efforts. We rode straight for the greatest Forges, the ones our ancestors made burn the brightest in all of Middle Earth. The Heart of Fire.
We had got used to Bog’s smile, to his usual mischievous banter and his jokes. This was not the Bog who rode with us that day. The Curse weighed heavy on his shoulders, with Narali and Ronhus doing their best to share the burden. Krok did not leave their side for a second.
I rode behind them, at a safe distance. I did not trust myself, and in turn they did not trust me. Heledrion and Eldanith, who were not present when I snapped, attempted to approach me. I warned them not to, and it hurt to deny their kindness so. But there was no other way.
I barely noticed the intense heat that rose as we entered the Heart. I was so focused on our ringbearer that barely anything else mattered. Had it not been for Garfi, who refused to leave my side despite my greatest efforts, I would have been lost then and there. She kept me company, while watching me closely.
I do not know what they talked about once we arrived, only that Bog’s suffering had got much, much worse. He fought bravely against the power of the Ring, and plunged his gauntlets into the molten mass. The Ring screamed, cried for someone to save it, its shriek shaking the Mountain itself. And then, smoke. Black, dense smoke that let no light through. And the smell… It was not foul, but it was horrifying nonetheless. It was almost inviting, yet unnatural.
And then, it stopped.
I felt the light flow again to my heart. Whispers I had not realised I was hearing in my mind vanished, and I felt younger. Younger than I had ever felt for a very, very long time. I saw Narali smile for the first time in days. “The voice…” she said, “It is gone”.
Kharsi approached me. I dared not meet his gaze. I begged him not to look at me, but he insisted. “I need to see your eyes”
I looked upon him, and tears escaped from my eyes yet again. And then he held me, and I crumbled in his arms. “I thought I lost you, uncle” he said. Words failed to come out of my mouth, but I could not be more thankful to have him back. I was supposed to protect him, to keep him safe, but I had failed him. I will not make that mistake again.
“I do not think we should linger here” warned Adonneniel. “Something is coming. The Ring must have called for it”
The smoke did not stop coming from the spot where the Ring had melted.
“We will not run anymore”, said Kharsi. “Whatever comes, it shall meet my axe!”
Some of the others agreed with him. Frimsi wanted to stay and fight, while Narali and Adonneniel begged him to listen to reason. Others argued that we could not abandon the Garrison here. I had to act.
“Dwarves of the Garrison!” I exclaimed. “You must flee, for you are in grave danger! The threat we face here today will meet its end, but I trust our friends if they claim we cannot fight them here. I will not have this curse take any more from us!”
Kharsi looked at me, a smile on his face. Narali stood beside me, and Adonneniel was relieved.
Ronhus tried to stay behind. He claimed he would slow this danger down, and give us time to flee. I refused, as his life was too precious to throw away like that. We would all live to see another day. “No time for foolish sacrifices” said Kharsi. “We already lost so much.”
The cavern shook, and dwarves ran. The Garrison quickly began their evacuation, and we joined them. “One day, Shadow” vowed Zirnr, “You will get it!”
With the rumbling following us, and screams from creatures whose shape we could not imagine haunting us, we made our escape. We only looked back once we had left the Forges, and saw Eldanith was missing. We did not worry too much, however. It was not the first time she found her own way to escape from danger, and would no doubt show up at our destination. We again rode for the Waterworks, since we had unfinished business over there.
I had the chance to speak to Elewaru on the way. I asked her about her wound, and the poison that overwhelmed her when we left the Lodes. She was indeed feeling much better, and I was relieved.
We arrived at the camp we had left earlier that day. The moods were cheerful, for we had won a great victory. Adonneniel stepped away for a moment, but we did not really notice — Atgar had begun to bring out his cooking utensils, and spoke about a celebratory feast.
She quickly returned, and she too looked overjoyed. She bowed before me, and asked for a word. You must not tell a soul what I am writing to you now, since I promised her that I would keep it a secret. She confided in me that the waters around us had been blessed by Ulmo himself, for even in Moria they fell under his domain. However, him being rather secretive, she asked me to dress our good luck in a different guise.
We came back to the others, and I cleared my throat. “My friends!” I announced, “Adonneniel here tells me that the Nameless will not be following us here, as they are terrified after seeing us dispel their malevolent curse! We may still catch a break!”
The entire camp cheered. It was time for celebration, and, for once, we were truly safe. It was a feeling we had not realised we had missed so dearly, being under near constant siege, be it at the hands of Goblins, the Nameless or any of the other threats we had faced in the Pits. That was the moment that made me regain hope in our quest, and in myself.
Narali walked away. This time was different, though, as she made no effort to hide as she did so. I followed her, and saw her smile when she touched the stone. “There is no voice!” she exclaimed. “My mind is my own again!”
I cheered for her, and we hugged. I was afraid she would not forgive me for my actions, but she blamed them all on the Ring. I disagreed with her, but we concluded that it did not matter, since the root of that Evil had been destroyed regardless.
There was one last thing I needed to do.
“Kharsi, a word?”
He followed me away from the camp. He put down his shield, and waited for me to speak.
“I want to formally apologise for what I did to you”, I said to him. “As I was telling Nara, the ring revealed something within me not even I knew existed, but it did not create it. I am to blame for falling”.
I stuttered. "When I... When I lifted..."
I stopped. Kharsi looked at me, devastated.
“When I lifted my hand” I continued. “I realised something. You are not the boy I raised. Not anymore. You are so, so much more now. You are your own Dwarf now.”
Kharsi shifted, but did not look away from me. I continued.
“The only thing that was more powerful than what I felt for the ring at that moment was my love for you. I realise I do not have that many years left, and I will never try to take Narsi's place. But I have come to think of you as my own son. I wanted you to know that”.
This time it was him who broke down in tears. I followed suit, of course. He spoke.
“You have always been a father to me” he said. “And you always will be.”
We spoke of the Blue Mountains, of how much we missed them. We spoke of grief and forgiveness, and of making the most of what time we had left. Of what we would do after leaving that cursed place, and how it would most definitely would not be us who would bring back its glory. We had more than done our part, and we would not go back there again.
He also told me of a dream he had. He sat at the edge of the Mirrormere, and it burned. It burned, its stars sunken deep, its light having faded away. He said that whatever came of our Expedition, there would be long before light returned.
But that night, there was light. And I do not mean our campfire, which burned bright and produced delicious smells from Atgar’s cooking. I mean the sort of light we found again in Narali, who was singing again. The light that filled our hearts again, that made us dance, and cheer, and drink, and laugh.
The one I so have missed ever since you left, but I still find from time to time. There is much good in this world, but I cannot help but feel that the time to leave it approaches. Not now, not tomorrow, but not in too many years.
Love you from the bottom of my soul,
Your Thrarfi.
