I met a man. I always do, don't I? I've become finder quicker over this man than the others. I am scared to get too close yet at the same time I don't want to let him go. I know the inevitable will happen– he will leave, taking another piece of my heart and I shall continue my lustful wanderings, searching and yearning.
Looking back at my previous relationship with Wolf, I realize it was unhealthy. I realize now it impacted how I perceive others and my relationship with others. Wolf was very possessive to an unhealthy point over me. He treated me as property and worse, and those behaviors leached into my relationships. I feel like I owe Djeru and some others an apology, if when he comes back.
But this man, Idhrandir. Not often do my lovers walk in my dreams but he does. These feelings terrify me. I am scared. Terrified. I feel so much at once. In the short time I have known him, he has made me genuinely smile and broke down my walls. How is this possible. It is hard for me to stay the charismatic, overly flirtatious and promiscuous man now.
I can't have these feelings. It's too early to declare that damned 'L' word. I shall not say it. It scares everyone off. What has he done to me...
I may be getting involved in strange matters. Gal has been mentioning this thing called Windswept. I am curious and something tells me it may be the right thing for me to partake it, for myself and others.
