Entry 4

I think I need a baby sitter. I am 42 years of age and cannot be trusted to be a proper adult.

I got wrapped into a company of men, elves and dwarves to deal with an orc band. I say company, but it is a proper band of idiots; a bull headed idiot dwarf named Farlrik, a pompous idiot who harasses me constantly named Gheomaer. Dalbran I am fond of, but he too has his idiot moments. Galtharian and Ithilwe were the most intelligent. I did not doubt the fair race of elves. Brannuild did not seem half bad, she at least took care of an orphaned child the idiot Farlrik scared.

I call them a band of idiots because they charge into battle without thinking or looking for ways to utilize things to their advantage. The dwarves nearly died and my left arm, my shield arm, got broken. Just lovely.

All seemed well till we got back. I found out Wolf married another, and he left. I broke down sobbing in the arms of Galtharian. I never thought an elf would be my closest, most genuine friend. Someone I can confide in. I have no complaints, he has comforted me in a caring manner when none of my lovers were. I am dreading having to wither and die and leave him behind.

I just want to be loved.

My bone was set back in place by an elf maid today. A lass i have come to call my daughter in spirit, gave me very potent medicine for pain. I wanted to cease the pain in my heart and spirit as well as my arm, so I impulsively drank it all and 3 bottles of brandy.

I wish Aeshaeidr, Djeru and Anurania had never found me and brought me back from the brink of death.