I had to see the ashes of my past. There could be no moving on without full recognition that there was no going back. For Waelden and Ethel that was not a concern. Ethel had hardly been there at all, and I was thankful for that fact.
It was time to move on. Time to rise from the ashes.
Strangely I had felt little of Isa about me. Once we were free of the fire it almost seemed she had taken a long sleep. But then there had been periods of my life when I could hardly sense her at all. In that inferno she would have launched herself at the small window, glass shards and splintered wood, to see her cub and mate survive. It was her basic instinct to save her family that had kept me focused. Since then I almost missed the connection of her wild wolf-spirit. We had begun to work well together since Waelden’s expedition from Floodwend, she and I. Now, I hoped she would not sleep for too long.
So I rode alongside Waelden, back to Bancross. He was watching me almost as closely as he was the surrounding meadows. Ealfin and Wynn moved at a steady pace, as if yoked together, making small whickering noises to each other as if they were making plans on our behalf. On a different occasion I would have chuckled at them. But my mind was elsewhere.
“I don't have the same emotional ties to the farm as you do... but for a brief time, it was home. And I loved it.” Waelden broke the silence of the ride from the farm.
“I know Northgyth’s house isn’t really home.” I replied, drawn from my musing. “It’s a good place, a safe place, but it isn’t ours.”
He nodded, reaching over to pat my hand reassuringly.
“Let’s go and find a new home, Greybeard? I know we have thought of it, but let’s do something about it, aye?”
Pulling Ealfin to a halt, Waelden was listening to me with a mixture of concern and agreement in his eyes. “That’s what I am planning on.”
Wynn halted immediately too.
“We are not without any coin. I have those valuables we took from the farm when we first arrived there.” I said. “ The tapestry and silverware are safe in the vault in Edoras. I will happily sell them. I think they could bring in ohh...maybe twenty gold? And I will work hard. I can see if there is any other who would employ me in Bancross. I only help Northgyth a few hours in the morning.”
“'If we truly need it, I can always turn to Ehris for support. He'd lend us coin without blinking,” Walden added. “Though I would prefer not to.”
I lowered my head, thinking of the likelihood of a suitable place that we could afford to buy. But I agreed with him. “'We try by ourselves first, eh? “
“'Yes... I see that as a last resort. I do not like owing people coin.”
“'Neither do I.” I replied earnestly. “ I would only borrow at great need, and I would not put you in debt, even to Lord Tiubar.”
We locked fingers a moment, in unspoken agreement. We would move forward now, together. Then we rode on.
Several ‘normal’ days in Bancross followed.
Ethel was putting great effort into her reading and writing. Most evenings saw her with her head in a book. Often Waelden would sit with her at least a while, and encourage her. Sometimes I would join them, though I was still far behind my daughter. She would wink at me on occasions, when Waelden was following words. The next day she would explain it to me slowly and patiently. During the day she would help about the house, ride out on Roan a little, and occasionally on Wynn. She would practice with her bow, and go and swim in the river, once with me.
I was still concerned she had little company of her own age though. Brona visited a few times. They seemed to get along fine, though Ethel did not say much about her. I wondered if Ethel was missing her friends in Floodwend?
Waelden was looking around the village more, and even rode out to a couple of nearby hamlets to look for possible dwellings. He still seemed a little silent at times. Blaming himself...I knew it! But I didn’t know how to alter his train of thought. No matter how many times I told him I held him blameless for the situation, he would not hear me.
And I worked alongside Ymma, and spent the odd hour with Northgyth, learning what she would teach me. Listening to the tales she told, that opened up new horizons. She would sigh sometimes. “You and your family came here for a reason, Yllfa. There is a plan and purpose behind what happened. Be at peace in that.”
All was well.
But though my rootless dreams began to lessen, they were still in the background of my thoughts. And I would hold tight to Waelden, while we quietly talked each other to sleep about our dreams and hopes. We both wanted to remain in Bancross if it be possible. We were safe here. Ethel was safe. But we knew it more likely we would find a place we could afford in a different village.
“I will have to ride into Edoras soon,” I told him. “I think I should put my treasures to auction.”
He stroked my hair, and reminded me he was waiting on payment from Lord Tiubar. Not any loan this, but earned money.
“I will sell my grandpapa’s sword if necessary,” I told him. But he shook his head.
“You have lost enough already.”
I knew that. But I would do all I could to set us on a new and better path.
Then, one evening, we had an unexpected visit from Northgyth as we sat at our supper.
She left us alone in this part of her house, mostly speaking with us should Ethel or I be working, or Waelden going to the store for something. That she knocked on her own door was surprising enough. Waelden rose from the table to greet and welcome her. Ethel and I watched on.
“I have just received a letter from Edoras. I think its content may be of interest to you, Waelden, Yllfa,” she said directly. “It seems Erbrand is not to return. He is putting his house up for sale.”
I was on my feet and at the door instantly. Erbrand’s house was the house next door, the house with the cave and waterfall. Could it be possible?
