The 23rd of July
Betrayal! Treachery of the highest degree! Dear Reader, you cannot fathom the extent of my anger, my surprise, my feeling of absolute shock—a woman who has been part of my household for longer than I have been alive has made a complete and utter fool of me!
I still cannot believe it! I shall not speak much of it here, for the hurt is still too great to bear—but my own dear Mrs. Crawdale has betrayed me! How grievously has she wounded my heart with devious deception—and made me seem no better than a motley fool in men’s eyes! Why, I would punish her if Father did not forbid it! It is a good thing I have so much fondness for her and that—besides this one infraction!—she has been a good and faithful servant whom I would be loath to ruin my relationship with. Good Heavens, I must speak of something else before I go mad.
I’ve seen the beginnings of the portrait I commissioned from Odelynne, and my goodness, shall it be fine! In truth, I am a little nervous—as anyone will be with unfinished works—but I have faith in her skill as a painter and I trust that the work shall ultimately be magnificent. She sketched me some time ago at home (And I will tell you that she told me I improved the sketch with my input, though I be no artist myself!) for some time as I posed in various ways to see what best suit me, all featuring my old dagger. It was quite a silly thing, to prioritize the dagger in the picture, but I only think it fitting and proper to pay my respects to the dead. Besides, would a portrait of the Arthur Hazelwood be true to life without a little playfulness?
And on the note of playfulness, she invited me to a picnic at the Everclear Lakes not two days past. It was us two there along with Ms. Plumwood and a sellsword called Taraborn (with quite the handsome sword!). The hurts between the Plumwoods and I are not quite healed, but the day went by without much event and Ms. Plumwood’s sandwiches were quite good (Though my Mrs. Crawdale would have put far more mustard on the sandwiches! Alas that not all have such tastes for strong flavours!) as well as the cider.
(I must ask that Taraborn fellow more about his swordsmanship.)
Ms. Plumwood and Taraborn quickly went into the water to swim while I remained on shore with Odelynne—the painter, despite her bold attitude when stirred to competition (and her swiftness to draw her sword when stood against blackguardry!) is not so brazen as to swim naked in the water, and I did not see it to be gentlemanly to force her into discomfort nor to disrobe before her when she would not disrobe herself.
But it was no matter! I teased her until she could bear it no longer—and then stole a kiss from her which pleased her but too filled her with nervousness. I then offered her Mrs. Crawdale’s (delicious!) cherry bounce, which she drank no small quantity of (be it nervousness or her sweet tooth) and I made it quite plain to her what sort of philosophy I lived by and what I sought from her, and likewise assuaged her fears about her reputation. Reputation! There’s the rub. (The other two left while we were drinking, clearly too caught up in each other to pay us much mind.)
I know it is not easy to live freely as I do, as a woman especially, but I am pleased that she sees fit to share her company with me though I be an inconstant and insatiate lover. Life is too short to waste on doubts and anxieties and bands of gold, I say! She is inclined to be a fearless sort, as I am, though the opinions of others tempers her a slight bit more than it should. That will change in time, I expect, as she comes to be more assured in her independence. We enjoyed each others’ company as the day closed, sharing many more kisses in a copse of trees near the Everclear Lakes.
Speaking of sport, I wrote to Ms. Sweetmeadow after our encounter in the woods and have yet to hear back from her. I eagerly hope to know what she makes of my parting gift.
I was hunting for conies in the Chetwood and unfortunately caught none—but I was quite pleased to have found a different sort of quarry! Ms. Sweetmeadow was on a walk when I chanced upon her, and seeing that it was just after midday, I bid her stay and eat a late lunch with me in a clearing nearby. She had not easily forgotten the kiss I gave her in the Hedge Maze (For who would so easily forget a kiss from me?) though she was terribly afraid for the effects of scandal as Bree-town ladies so often are. We ate lunch first—a shooter’s sandwich with plenty of mustard—before I began to seek more sport with her. She grew more comfortable after I assured her upon mine honour I would seek but kisses alone, and I was pleased to see the doubt leave her face. She made me give chase in the woods after that, though, sprinting nimbly through the forest! So much for having caught my quarry!
But Dear Reader, I have a confession to make. I chased Ms. Sweetmeadow from and back to the clearing as she bid me catch her, her taking advantage of her (unexpected!) skill as a climber. When I came back to the clearing we had eaten lunch in, she sprang from the bushes and tackled me! And atop me, she cast her eyes towards my hat. I, stricken with fear for the ruin of yet another hat, struck her across the face in a lapse of judgement! Why, she (rightfully) desired no sport after that, apoplectic and ranting about how I should never treat a lady so! We argued for a while until we resolved our quarrel in action and not words—we kissed, and afterwards there were many more kisses to follow. I left my mark upon her neck, though it seemed that she did know what it was at the time, and though she was still cross with me, she clearly desires to see me again. I wonder what she makes of that mark now and how she will react the next time we meet.
But back to my first point: for all the pleasures of recent sport with pretty maids and my introduction to another swordsman, I am still cross with Mrs. Crawdale and her accomplice in Jenny! Hers was a foul trick indeed and I shall surely have to get her back!
