If I felt like I made a terrible mistake the last time I spoke with Arthur and Belfry, then I fear I have made a tremendous error in judgment tonight. It started out entirely pleasant, but that seems to be how it happens whenever that Hazelwood is around. The night always starts out nice, but it turns sour very quickly. The things I said tonight were far more awful than the things I said a few nights ago. I don't regret them, I only regret how upset Fenley is, and how miss Odelynne must think of me now.
For the longest time, my brother was not around. He was working and I had the Inn and I was content with that. I didn't realize until he came back that I had missed out on so many things. I'm only older by a few minutes and I still feel as protective as any older sibling is supposed to feel. Arthur can say whatever he wants but I firmly stand by my belief that he's done nothing but tarnish my brother and by extension my family name since the moment they met.
There are no lords and ladies of Bree and I refuse to acknowledge people who act as such. The Plumwoods have always been respected and wealthy land-owners, and I don't see a single reason why the Hazelwoods believe themselves to be any better. Perhaps it's that Fenley desires to work for his coin rather than it just simply be handed to him, unlike some people who reside in Bree. I do not know. Whatever the case may be, I refuse to allow my brother to be treated like a rat who lives in Beggar's Ally.
I hardly remember the conversation I had before we sat down to eat. I remember vaguely speaking of husbands - and just the thought of it, now, makes me laugh. Fenley would look at me as if I'd grown two heads if I suddenly had an interest in obtaining a husband. A wife, though, I could see myself settling down with. The entire conversation is fuzzy though, I can't recall why Odelynne and I were talking about it in the first place. But that happens in the presence of Arthur, everything is constantly overshadowed by him.
If I sound bitter, well, then I sound bitter and there is nothing I can do about that. Is it upsetting to me that I've lived in Bree for my entire life and have had problems with no one and suddenly there is one person I can't stand, which has spread out and angered my new friends as well? Quite. I can't place a name on the feeling that gives me other than bitter, for angry is not enough. It isn't enough that Arthur must cause resentment and anger, it seems that it can't be settled unless Fenley and I are cut off from our friends as well.
Miss Taite did stop by for a moment when I returned to Bree to look for my brother, who did not return home after the argument. She was very kind and understanding and sat through as I blurted out so many things in a rush that I didn't even mean to say. She went inside, but she left me feeling a lot better than I did before she sat down. I left before she came back out, but at least my mind is a little more at ease than it was before, if only a by a smidge.
