Nomad's Miraculous Play Of Mummery
The Fall Of The Stone Squatter
{Enter – Watchman}
Watcher:
Open the door as I come in,
Hoping your favour for to win,
Whether I rise, stand, or fall,
We'll do our endeavour to please you all
Room! Room! Brave Gallants, room!
And give us leave to sport,
For in this room we mean to exhort,
And issue you merry rhymes;
Brave gallants, you all know
That these are fearful times!
And if you'll not believe it to be true,
The next who enters in...
Is this a fair maid? Hmmm,
I wonder, the daughter of who?
{Enter Fair Maiden}
Fair Maiden:
The daughter of the richest in town!
My father the merchant, a portly fellow
He spoils me with spices,
With even a silk gown!
But this man speaks right indeed,
These are terrible times,
In fact I was followed!
By a man who if caught, should never be freed!
Oh my! Here he does come,
I can smell him...
{Enter Bandit with laughter}
Bandit:
I am the leader of this, boot stealing crew!
Whose vile acts and deeds
I will never tell to you!
We are not come like silly boys,
To mope in woods and hold the noise
We're come to take from all we can!
And make you hear
Not at once, when we sight your purse, but
As we creep so near!
And if you fail to hand it over
Your very bones will rest,
Beneath a well dug garden of clover!
We, the stone quarter bandits, we do not jest!
{Stone Squatter rests as watcher flirts with the maiden}
Watcher:
Hold! Hold vile bandit!
You brags hold no sway over the fair and beautiful...
Stay your hand, and that rotting mouth,
While I speak with this maid, fresh, and plentiful...
You! Fair maid, are a merchant's daughter?
There is but one thing, you can never deny!
There's something I have which her father never bought her...
{Stone Squatter stands at the ready}
Bandit:
You think your permissions and duties are impressive?
Come, proud watcher, fight me!
In the end, you'll bark and whimper, true submissive!
I'll take your boots for my collection!
Make your mighty shield my own!
Then, with the maid, I will have my way!
And boastfully, and most fully,
My oats will be sown!
Avast!
{Stone Squatter and the Proud Watcher fight comically, ending in the watcher lying unconscious on the floor, the wench pulls a pan on the bandit, and after some screaming and wailing, the bandit lies unconscious on the floor)
Pink Sellsword:
Hark now! What is this I hear?
A brawl!
On guard! For in my wake, all shall fear!
Here I am! Sword for sale
Fear my men, of the Pink Dawn!
Takers of heads, and wreckers of lawn!
{Pink Sellsword runs into the scene and stumbles, tripping to fall on the Watcher and Bandit}
Wench:
Oh my! Dear Watcher, you lie in sleep
So sorry I am, for not saving you strife,
But I cannot wed a weakling as a formidable wife.
Nothing from this I can keep!
This pan... It is strange indeed!
Give it a tongue and it would not sound right
But, dear patrons, please part with your greed!
For this fair and luscious maiden is in such dire need!
Second Draft, First Play went well at Eordion's opening.
