Everything has been very awkward since last night... So many things has happened, but my mind just keeps straying back to that moment with Kelinor. But... It shouldn't. I have to stop this. So many more important things have happened. I'll try to keep my mind straight, try to remember and go through the many events of the day, without straying off, to that moment, to the... silent shyness, awkwardness following between me and Kelinor.
Well, however, around noon I was in the house with Eogler when a new recruit arrived. He was shown around and introduced as usual procegure, and then suddenly had to run off. Just after that, I... The memory is fuzzy, but I think Eogler offered me a hug for some reason? I was close to him, however, when he suddenly leaned in to kiss me. But before I had time to even realize what was happening we heard a loud scream from outside. We rushed out, - unaware at the time, but later on realizing; in uniform but without our masks- finding a rather old man on his horse just about to ride off, and the recruit laid on the ground bleeding heavily from his hand. I went to take care of him, finding that it was not his hand bleeding but the stump left from his missing hand. I'm not a medic, but being used to protecting and aiding people I instantly ran up to help him, ripping my cloak apart to bandage him the best I could. Eogler then helped me carry him inside, and I got the chance to redo the wrapping properly with real bandages and more absorbing cloths. Not long after I was done, it knocked on the door. Eogler and I went outside and found the same old man stood there. It appeared his name was Craign, a man in command of a rival kinship and also a personal enemy of the recruit. How he had found his way to the house we knew nothing about, but he claimed that he meant us no harm but merely wished to discuss business. But as we declined him enterance to the house, he turned around and left again. After that I just stayed to aid the recruit, watching over him for several hours until Kelinor arrived to gather us for a new mission.
What I remember most of this was the fact that a woman, Edani, was joining us. I could clearly tell that she wasn't feeling well and I begged to Kelinor to let me stay in the house to look after her, but he just coldly turned it down and said we both had to go. We journeyd to the Barrow Downs where we were split up in three groups; me grouped up with Edani. I felt a relief being with her, knowing I would be there to take care of her if she got worse. Told to scout the northern Barrow Downs and look for more information about Mr Baggins and his companion me and Edani left the group, but I would soon come to look away from her for a moment, the next finding that she was no longer there. Frightened as to the fact that I had lost a very ill woman in such an unsafe place I abandoned my mission and started looking for her. I looked for her for ages, running back and forth, searching every inch of the area but finding nothing. Determined not to stop until I found her I declined as another man of our group came and told me Kelinor had ordered us all into the old forest. I told him to deliver the message that Edani was missing and I would stay until I found her. So I stayed, and I kept looking, until my brother suddenly came and forced me along. He was determined to bring me back to the others and no matter what I did he wouldn't let go of me. But basically instantly after I had arrived with the others, I just ran back and kept looking. Rather soon though I gave up, realizing that I wouldn't find her. Albillion appeared to have followed me, and somehow managed to convince me to go back to the house with him. Upset with both Albillion for making me leave, and Kelinor for letting Edani come along, we ende dup having a long argument
Later on, despite being devastated with worry I was convinced to join to the inn in Bree to spend the evening. When there I met some people I had convered with the day before, until I stepped into a room and found Eogler passed out on the floor. He was feverish and weak, and above him was this floating.. shade, of some sort. I desperately tried to help him, but got interrupted as the shade took shape and revealed itself as some kind of ghost, trying to talk to me. It pointed at two other men in the room, then did various movements. I was terrified, and believe it was telling me to kill the men, or at least get rid of them. I made them leave the room, then got ordered by the ghost to call for help. Terrified, I left the room without saying anything and went to the bar, getting a drink and staying there. Kelinor was there, along with two of the people I had talked to earlier. Lasdor was the elven mans name, and then a woman who's name I do not recall. They came up to me, asking what was wrong, and I stammered out that there was a ghost, and I thought Eogler was dead. No one believed what I said, but Lasdor and the woman eventually went to look what I was talking about. Kelinor then took me outside to get away from all the people, gently trying to calm me down. And not long after, Eogler came outside, behaving like crazy. I was shocked to see him up and moving as if nothing, and confused with his behaviour. He acted as if he didn't rememeber anyting, and clearly bothered Kelinor who ended up sending him away.
The main part of the rest of the evening we spent together, away from others, just talking to each other. I am now sat back in the Prancing Pony, Kelinor just left. Looking back at today with a clearer mind I wonder how so much could even have happened during so few hours. But it has. The awkwardness between me and Kelinor is slowly disappearing and I more and more just long to be with him, close to him. But it is one thing I will have to get used to about being around humans; they need sleep. He had to go, and I am left here to clear my mind. And now, last of all, I will just hope to see Edani soon, unharmed...
Ithilwien
