Planting time and harvest time brought everyone together. The farms in Beringbourn were spread out and for most of the year the community spent the majority of their time on their own respective farms, they all came together for harvest and moved from farm to farm.
One of the local men, down on his luck, had turned to drinking. At first it was not noticed, but as time went on the rumors started to spread and one harvest when Emmawynn was a child, it got bad enough that the drinking impacted his ability to work.
Among the children at play a fight broke out, “Your father is a lazy drunk.” One boy accuses another. “Is not.” Is the response. A third boy pushed him. “Is too.” Emmawynn, breaking several of her mother’s rules, steps in front of the boy, and fiercely addresses two boys who are both older and bigger than she is. “Leave him alone!” She stands firmly and stares at both of them until they slowly back down and walk away, muttering.
Somerwyn, Emma’s grandmother, watched with pride and a bittersweet smile commenting softly. “She has her grandfather’s spirit.”
Beyrid, Emma’s mother, watched with a combination of admiration and uneasiness. Emmawynn did indeed seem to have the same spirit of her grandfather, and her father. Protector, wanderer, explorer. After his father’s death, Leofnof, father of Emmawynn, had intentionally chosen a different path. Setting aside his own desires to protect and wander, he had chosen instead to care for his mother and his family in the place of his father.
Emmawynn showed no interest in dolls or other girly pursuits, instead preferring to ride, explore, and climb trees. When an outsider came to purchase horses, Emmawynn listened to his stories with great interest and asked questions about the places he had seen, her expression betraying her fanciful dream of going to see the places mentioned.
Even in Rohan, society expects young women to marry and bear children. While other paths may be an option, they all come at a cost. Knowing this, loving her daughter, and wanting to protect her daughter from as many of the hardships of life as possible, Beyrid began to push Emmawynn towards ‘her place’ in life.
And so the dissonance between mother and daughter began to grow. Beyrid demanded that Emmawynn recognize marriage and motherhood as her duty to her family and the only real option for a woman in society. She pushed Emmawynn for excellence. After all, there was a tentative arrangement in place, and Emmawynn would likely have the opportunity to marry a nobleman’s third son. In turn, Emmawynn felt more and more unseen and misunderstood, like she was little more than the prized mare in the stable. While she complied with her mothers tutoring and instructions and prepared to fulfill her duty to her family by marrying someone advantageous, she also took every opportunity to escape and forget for a little while.
Emmawynn tried to become the girl her mother wanted her to be. Other thoughts, ambitions and dreams were pushed away and stuffed down until Emmawynn herself almost forgot they were there. Why waste time thinking about things that can never happen? She became proficient at showing her mother what Beyrid wanted to see, but it came at a cost. The pressure grew and constricted until Emmawynn would start to feel suffocated. When this happened Emmawynn learned she could find some relief in a long, fast ride. Bansil was always happy to comply, and they would return, winded and tired having relieved enough of the pressure to buy Emmawynn some peace for a time.
It was on one of these rides several years later that she found herself surrounded by four Dunlending raiders who demanded she dismount and hand over Bansil’s reigns. They both ended up captured. By the time she was able to escape more than a year later, Emmawynn knew she could not go home. She could no longer fulfill her duty. The raiders would follow her if she did and her family would be targeted. Even if they could protect her from the danger, she would bring shame and disgrace home with her. So she headed west.
It was several months later in Herne that Emmawynn found the time and space to grieve the loss of her family. While she knew that someday she would return, and face them, she was certain she knew what the outcome would be. She would be banished, disowned, for she had done all of the unforgivable things that she had to in order to survive. How many times had she heard her mother say that one was better off dead than doing those things?
Challenged by one of her friends to take the time to really think about her family and the possibilities of their reunion, Emmawynn finally does so as she travels towards her childhood home. Time and circumstance have changed so much. Emmawynn’s perspective is no longer that of a naive innocent girl. Now she truly considers the questions. Did her mother truly believe she would be better off dead? Or given the reality of the circumstances would her mothers opinion change? Would her family be willing to re-define her duty to them? Was it possible that there was a path forward where they accepted her?
Challenged by another friend, her traveling companion, to listen, to give them a chance to accept her, or if necessary to bear whatever hurt her family’s words cause and fight for reconciliation, Emmawyn finally allows a small glimmer of hope to ignite. As they make their way closer to her childhood home, that glimmer grows in Emmawynn’s heart. Whatever the result of her visit, she is going home still scared, but ready for the possibilities.
