Aeshaeidr followed the Oathlord into the mead-hall that had become his seat of power in recent weeks. With the high ceilings and openness of the main hall, the echo of their footsteps across the wooden floors only echoed back louder to her ears. Every reverberating clap of her boots causes her gloved fingers to clench into fists, not too unlike how she had held herself when watching Alweard's duel just outside. Yet, perhaps the lack of others' voices and prying ears would prove well for the words she had so urgently begged to share with him, so she brought her gaze down from the columned arches into the heavens and back to the Thane, standing but a few paces astride from her, and his new seat of Fylstott. With a heavy sigh, the woman's shoulders seemed to sink underneath the weight of her fur mantle, and whatever she wished to share with him. Aeshaeidr's steps slowed to a solemn halt before long.
"Oath-lord Thorvall," she murmured, bowing her head in uncharacteristic reverence, and let her light hair fall down over her shoulders and across her face. "What I wish to speak to you of has laid heavy on my shoulders for many days--nay, weeks--no, yet even months." With trembling fingers she unlatched the gilded sheath of her seax from her belt--holding up the sword in her palms, outstretched: the gift and sign of favor caught the gleaming light of the hearth within the mead-hall. "I do not deserve to carry this as a symbol of your recognition, Oath-lord. I am a liar in the midst of your company and cannot, in good conscience, live and serve among the Oathsworn until I have told you the truth of everything. Even then, I would understand should you turn me away before hearing my words, or yet thereafter. I ask for nothing but your audience."
Thorvall turned his face, brows and lips drawn tight in worry from the day's events, toward Aeshaeidr. "Keep your blade, friend..." He spoke the words softly, curiosity pricking at his otherwise sympathetic gaze. "Speak." He commanded. "Speak, and let me be the judge of how I receive it, eh?"
She did not raise her head; she simply lowered her hands, keeping the sheathed blade grasped tightly in her palms. "I am no seasoned shield-maiden, Thorvall Thane, though I would guess you have known as much for some time. I lied about my battle prowess to be allowed with your company into Dunland."
The thane pursed his lips a little. "I may have guessed as such when we were in Dunland." He stepped forward. "You lied to join the Oathsworn, a stripling who had not seen true battle, but wanted to join regardless?" He continued his approach, down the steps to come level with her. "You spoke false so you could stand next to us, weathering the blade storm and the arrow's hiss among true, tested warriors?"
Aeshaeidr still kept her gaze and her hands low, not daring to look up at the taller man. "Yes. I was chased from Harwick, for I dueled a man twice my senior and bested him to death, all for the honor of another whom I should not have fought for. I stole my father's horse and sword and fled. I have been running since, Oath-lord, and I have yet to tell you all of my misdeeds." Aeshaeidr felt her voice waver with uncertainty, but she waits for any judgment before continuing to speak.
Thorvall uttered a growl. "There's more?" There was, however, an edge of amusement to his voice.
Aeshaeidr flinched at his tone. "I was the one who planted the spearhead in the fire at Sedgebury. The blood of Deor and perhaps yet Oswine is on my hands."
The warrior winced at that. Although, something in the man's bearing spoke of him suspecting as much. "I knew someone did." He confirmed with a sigh. "Noble intent or not, it was ill done, although do not trouble yourself on the account of that little shit Oswine." He spoke the name harshly. "I do not doubt whatever end he met was deserved."
Aeshaeidr clutched the seax to her chest, trembling beneath her thick furs as she kept her eyes on the ground between them. "Perhaps, but whatever end he met was likely hastened by my misdeeds."
Thorvall fell silent, eyes fixed on the fire as his mind wandered among the shades of those that had died at Sedgebury. "Your actions may have killed Deor, that you know well enough, and I'll not insult you by saying otherwise." He finally spoke up, voice hard, but not harsh. "But I feel as though the Thane may have also decided that he was to die whatever happened."
The woman of Wildermore nodded, albeit with a hesitance becoming a wearied soul. "I fear so as well," she said softly, "but it does not excuse my actions--not at Sedgebury, and not before. If you do not want me to stay in your company, Thorvall Lord, please..." She offered him the sword again with shaking hands.
Thorvall did not take the blade, but neither did he reassure the woman. "Deor would never have won a fight against Oswine, we both know it." He spoke softly at first. He gently nudged away an inquisitive cat that had come to rub itself against his boot, which threatened to spoil the somber moment. "You lied to join us, and you broke the laws of Sedgebury as well as of the land by placing that spear where you did." His tone had turned cold, but then once more the Oathlord's voice softened.
"Yet you have stood beside us in battle, despite obvious terror and inexperience none the less, time and time again, and never deserted us." Finally, he closed the gap between them, laying a hand gently upon her fur-clad shoulder. "You saved lives, charged in to save the Thane of this very hall, and captured the very standard of the Draig-lûth, and that is one of the bravest deeds I have witnessed."
Aeshaeidr trembled under the hand of the Oath-lord upon her, gripping her seax so tightly that one should be thankful it remained sheathed, lest she would cut herself on the blade. "Thank you, Thorvall Lord. But, I--that cannot be enough to absolve me. I have deceived you since the day we met."
Thorvall shook his head slowly. "In this, the greatest weight in guilt is the death of Deor, and that I have no power to absolve you of." He let his hand fall then. "I have taken liars, thieves and murderers into my ranks: some I have regretted, some I have not. You?" He smiled warmly enough. "I do not regret. If you had fled from battle, or turned your back on us, I would be telling it differently. But, here we are."
He shrugged, stepping away to gaze up at the hall's smoke-shrouded rafters. "Telling me this now, when you could have left it unsaid takes some courage, no?" His gaze fell upon one of the tapestries closest to the dais. "Oaths..." He mused quietly, mostly to himself.
The woman only then raised her head to look at him, her cheeks marked with lines of tears that she quickly wiped away so as not to be seen as weak in front of the Oathlord. "You... you are far more generous than most, Thorvall Lord."
Thorvall huffed what may have been a laugh. "Perhaps." He spoke quietly, turning back from the tapestry. "The real question I need answering, Aeshaeidr, is what will you do now?" He hesitated as if inviting an answer. But that window, if intended as such, was soon closed. "Will you continue as you are, wracked by guilt and feeling like an imposter, or will you do something about it?"
Aeshaeidr furrowed her brow, a crease belying her worry as she spoke. "I was told that I did not have to pretend to be the woman I lied about, that I could become her. But I did not feel as though I could do it under false pretenses. If you would have me, Thorvall-Lord, I wish to properly swear my oaths into the Oathsworn. Not as a liar."
Thorvall could not hide the smile that crept across his scar-flecked features even if he had wished to. "Good." He nodded. "Good, well spoken." Pausing, he seemed to chew a thought over for a moment, before speaking it aloud. "Walk with me Aeshaeidr, there is something I would show you."
