I woke from troubled dreams to see her seated on my bed. Calidis lay beside me, still sleeping soundly, undisturbed by my restless mood but the girl at the foot of my bed smiled, the moonlight surrounding her like an embrace, gleaming from her jet black hair. My daughter yet to be gave me a half smile, her eyes concerned yet amused...so like her father...or he who will be her father...one day.
Isilme looked at me, and sighed. "You are torn between choices....but there is more as well."
I struggled to explain the dilemmas I faced. Xandilif was gone, pursuing a scrap of half-remembered knowledge concerning the Deacon Desad and Small Finchley had recieved a letter from the Mute One, the dwarrow called Bryge. On the surface it seemed a pleasant missive, but both she and Addie, knowing him well, felt it had evil portents and they longed to fly to his side along with Unhooded Ryn. I would eagerly accompany them, as I know I am a special favorite of the dear Mute One and my presence would give him great comfort if indeed he finds himself vexed....however another letter had arrived as well.
This other letter came to me in response to requests I had sent out, for information concerning the woman called Daedre, formerly of the Blood Eye, now apparently in hiding. According to Ordan, she would be the best source to tell Eduwiges more concerning her father's time with the Blood Eye and what the truth behind his death may be. Watching my dear lynx I can see the torment and doubt regaring her kinsfolk rest upon her shoulders like a weight, and I ache for her. According to this informant, Daedre had been captured by the authorities in Arnach and was due to be hung as a thief in a matter of days. If Daedre perished, so may Eduwige's chance to ever learn the true nature of her father, of her birth.
What then do I do....ride forth with Addie and Small Finchley to Bree again in aid of a dear friend and to keep them safe or keep my word to Eduwiges and secure with her what may be the last link to her past.
Isilme smiled at me...."There is more. And what else as well, Amil?"
I then unburdened myself to my daughter to be...though some would think her a shadow of my hereditary madness. I feared Fornost and the evil that we may bring to light by our explorations and search for this mysterious chalice...and more than that, I found myself unable to fully trust this Moyna. I could feel her agendas and half-truths piling up like alter stones, and feared very much that Small Finchley was to be her sacrifice, or perhaps Ellsabeth...or perhaps all of us. The fact that this Catalinna remained outside of our understanding and grasp made me even more uneasy.
And lastly, I had no strong conviction that all of this was not enginnered by Mans...that he was not coaxing us by the nose to play a role again in some evil plan of his own. Was I leading us all to destruction again?
All of this doubt was making me sad, and distant...feeling more like I did of old, vengeful and solitary. How can I enjoy so much love and still feel a darkness within?
Isilme shook her head softly. "Amil...not all the world hinges on you despite what you think. Auntie Neth is going with Emig and Addie and Ryn. Trust her to keep them safe. Auntie Edu needs you, perhaps more now then ever before. Go with her but expect the unexpected from Auntie Elsa. As for Fornost...trust yourself, and when you must choose, choose the simple over the complex and trust in your heart...and remember that words are often sharper then blades. I can say no more, save that I love you, shadow and all."
I nodded, glancing at Calidis once more, so beautiful and pale, like a pearl in silver...and when I looked back, Isilme was gone.
I whispered to myself...."Shadow and all...." Will I ever know what she meant.
