Adriwyn fidgeted on her cot, and sighed heavily. She reached for her sword again, and put it down with a muffled curse. "I really gotta ask that healer how much I can use the other hand if I'm careful... just the hand's gotta be safe... doesn't it?" Fortunately, her voice wasn't very loud, and her neighbours were mostly not also laid up, so the fact that this was the tenth time she'd asked herself that wasn't disturbing anyone.
The huntress knocked softly on the healer's door, but the woman wasn't home to answer, so she let herself in. The space was small, but well-lit and cheerfully warm. An abundance of herbs, salves, and oils kept the sickly company while the healer was away. Haeneth lay her offering of wild-foraged branches by the door and glanced at the sleeping survivor from the caravan before she turned and smiled at Adriwyn. "Have you thrown anything at the wall yet?"
The redhead flushed, remembering her parting 'threat' of the night before, and shook her head. "Not quite yet. Not my wall... probably the only reason I've managed not to so far." She sighed heavily, then looked up with a smile. "It's real good to see you." She shifted to sit up a bit on the cot, trying not to use her right leg. Her smallclothes were clearly someone else's cast-offs, and too big for her. Having that large a shirt going over the shoulder and sling meant she was more exposed on her right side than she probably knew.
"I hope you can stay a while?" Her voice was almost too eager, for all she was trying to keep the question to a normal tone.
The older woman nodded and helped herself to the healer's hearth, pouring some water into a kettle and hooking it over the fire. She set out as many cups as there were patients, and one for herself, in case the others should wake. "How has it been healing?"
She snorted with a shrug of her good shoulder. "I'm still here, still going nuts over being too still. And feeling every twinge because there's not enough to keep my mind off it all. So... I don't know." She sighed. "I'm sorry. It's really hard not to get bitchy about it all, even though I know Celeb was right about the risk to my hip. Just... I can't do anything! I can't sew, I can't draw – not that I'm any good at it – I can't oil my blades, I can't cook anything...." She sighed again, stopping herself. "Sorry. I don't really know. Probably fine... I'm just going nuts waiting on it all."
Haeneth measured out enough tea for the kettle and stepped away while the water warmed. She pulled a stool up to Adriwyn's bedside and pulled from her pouch a small book, barely longer than her palm, its cover made of wood wrapped with green linen. "There's one thing you can still do, at least. Did you still want to learn how to read?"
The redhead's messy hair flapped in counterpoint to her sudden nodding. "Oh, yes! Well, I want to try, at least. Umm..." She stopped and took a deep breath. "I'm guessing that reading can be done mostly with just one hand, anyway, for the book?" She bit her lip nervously, worried that her imagination had got the better of her.
She handed over the book, a simple thing. In Gondor it may have been valued as nothing more than scrap, but it was a rare treasure in the Mark. "My son lent this to me. It was a gift from his sister, and before that from the elf you met yesterday."
The archer nodded her understanding, and held it carefully. She'd never really expected to hold a book at all, and she knew well what a treasure one could be, even without the skill to appreciate it yet. "Yes'm." She looked at the older woman appraisingly then. "Didn't take you for old enough to have... well, children that old." She flushed, wishing she'd kept hold of her tongue, but there it was.
The woman chuckled. "Spearwa can't read yet, though he tries. Sometimes he pretends to. My eldest is the age I was when I had her, nineteen years ago."
Adriwyn nodded slowly, but found herself defeated in any effort to count that up for her friend's current age. She'd have to work that out later. "Not so old, then." She grinned impudently. "Just so blonde I can't tell."
"No, not so old," she echoed. "Not as old as most, at least." She smiled, thinking on Thorvall's laugh-lines she had watched grow deeper over the years, til they nearly outweighed the scars. "Older than yourself, though. How long has it been since you started wandering?"
The redhead flushed again, and her head tilted as she pondered. "I've... not really kept good track of the years. I... I was sixteen when... when they burned our croft. The thane tried getting other crofters to take me in, but... they kept finding reason to get rid of me." She swallowed, clearly fighting back tears, holding things in. She shook her head.
"I suppose it was my eighteenth summer when I just took one of the horses from the old crofting and started wandering. But I don't rightly know how old I am now. I just... stopped caring about time for a while."
Haeneth watched her, mindful of the shadows of tears. "I didn't count the summers until I was much older. It wasn't done where I was from, but looking back on how my daughters have aged, I must have been not much more than ten when our farm was set to flame."
SHe shuddered, then hissed in pain at having disturbed her arm doing so. Some rapid blinking followed, fighting back tears again. "I'm.... I'm glad you lived through it...." She swallowed, hard, and held her good arm around her midsection, almost starting to rock, but stopping herself.
Haeneth lay a hand on Adriwyn's unharmed shoulder. "I am glad you did, too."
She did rock a bit, then, nodding slowly, and sniffling quite a bit, keeping her gaze down at her lap.
"Hold on," she muttered, and left the stool and Adriwyn's side for just a moment to pour the warmed water over the tea. She came back with a cup and reached to take the book away and replace it with the drink in her hand. "Careful, it's hot. Give it a moment."
She nodded, then concentrated on not shaking or tipping the mug too much, holding still again, and still sniffling. "S-sorry..." Her voice was barely a croak, and she swallowed loudly again.
Haeneth kept a hand on her arm, helping to steady her. "There's nothing to be sorry for," she whispered. "There's nothing wrong with feeling your pain."
The redhead shuddered through a deep, ragged breath, tears finally starting to spill down her cheeks. She rocked some again, setting the tea aside. Her left hand clutched at her nightshirt, bunching it up in her grip. "Flames everywhere... bodies and blood... screaming, humans and animals... heavy thuds just over my head as I ran, dodging between clutter and buildings... my sister...." She stopped for a deep breath that was punctuated by a sob. "Couldn't be sure which one was her for two, maybe three days... figured it out by where she'd been clutching her stuffie against her dress... only part not burnt past telling... my sister was ten." Her voice cracked there, and she sobbed more, all speech temporarily lost.
The woman bore the girl's grief like so many of her own shuddering nights — quietly, with wide eyes and deep loss. She set the cup aside so she'd have both hands free to wrap around Adriwyn, laying a small scarred hand against the girl's red hair. She was still, letting the archer live through the pain in the best way she could.
After briefly leaning into the older woman, and a few racking sobs, the injured young woman sat back up and started rubbing at her face with her hand, almost angrily brushing away her tears. "I'm sorry," she started hoarsely. She swallowed audibly before continuing, her voice almost under control, though with a very brittle edge. "You didn't need that." Her arm wrapped back around her midsection as she held herself exceptionally still.
Haeneth folded Adriwyn's hand between hers. "She'd be proud of you," she muttered. "It isn't easy to move on, harder still when you've not been allowed to grieve."
The redhead shuddered again, with another loud, choking sob, and she gave up, her fragile attempt at self-control broken again. The tears flowed, and she resumed rocking. Because of her crying, some of her words were hard to make out as she tried to answer. "Not sure... anyone... proud of me."
Haeneth squeezed her hand. "Adriwyn, can you look at me?"
The younger woman had to fight with herself, but managed to get her head raised, tears streaming again. Her breath was quite uneven as she tried to suppress the worst of her sobbing, and her view probably wasn't very good, but she was trying for eye contact.
Haeneth spoke slowly, wanting her words to be heard. "I am proud of you. You have lost a great deal. You could have turned on those who spurned you, but you were stronger than them. You chose your own path, and you chose to help people. That shows more nobility than any battle standard or any shining sword."
Her mouth flapped a bit in response, and probably the only thing that saved her from spluttering and trying to argue is that she started crying even harder. There was something different about the sound of it – less choked back, and more of a good, honest cry.
She folded her arm around the girl once again and whispered, wordless, to soothe her.
More rocking and sobbing, but after a while it started to slacken, and she started trying to reclaim her hand for wiping at her face again. "S-s-sorry...."
Haeneth gave her a soft smile. "You don't have to be. I've done the same, many, many times."
She blinked in confusion for a moment, then shrugged her shoulder. "S-still sorry." She went back to sniffling and trying to wipe her face, though she found that the tears hadn't really stopped again just yet.
The huntress pilfered a cloth from the bedside and held it to the young woman, along with the cup of still-warm tea. "Breathe. Take your time."
Having only the one usable hand, and having figured out she was going to keep leaking for a while, she opted for the tea. Soothing her throat mattered more at the moment. She got a sip or two down, calming herself some, before whispering over the top of the cup. "Th-thank you."
"Can I get you anything? Blankets? Food?" She folded the cloth and set it beside the book.
She pondered that, then slowly shook her head. "N-not gonna want to eat very soon." She swallowed a bit more of the tea. "How... what do I do with the book?" She was getting ahead of herself a bit, since her eyes were still leaking, of course.
"Keep it, for now. You've earned a bit more rest. How about I come back in an hour or two and we can take a look at it together?"
She considered, and gave a small, dry attempt at a chuckle. "Yes'm. Th-thank you... again."
Haeneth moved the book and cloth to the table and gave Adriwyn's hand a squeeze. She stood to swing the cooling kettle of water to the fire's edge to keep warm in case there was a later need for tea. "Rest," she reminded.
She nodded and settled back, though not quite reclining, letting the headboard and wall support her. "Yes'm." She sniffled a bit more, and wiped at the sides of her nose.
Haeneth rested her hand on Adriwyn's shoulder, smiled, and soothed her hair over her ear before she turned to the door.
Adriwyn smiled up at her, however weakly, and sighed softly as she turned to her thoughts.
The huntress lingered, watching her a moment. When she turned to go outside, the smile slipped away, her bottom lip sneaking to worry between her teeth.
The redhead sighed softly once the door was closed, and let some more tears leak out as she closed her eyes. Resting she might be, but the re-awakened grief needed some attention, too.
