Once again, I have allowed far too much time to pass without writing in my journal. Is it an effect of getting older? I did turn a year older last month, after all. Most women my age would be
Summer is most certainly over now. The sky is grey and flat over Bree, and the trees are dipped in hues of crimson and yellow. I have rather melancholy thoughts about the upcoming winter. Summer is an easier season in which to mourn. The sunlight and birdsong are a distraction, and life and hope are all around, everywhere one looks. I have not yet survived a winter without my husband. And I feel afraid of this coming season. The dark and cold and lifeless world...
I have made some decisions in light of the burdens that still sit heavily on my mind and heart. My thoughts turn southward, towards home, and it is there that my feet will take me. Whether it be to find some sort of healing, some purpose for myself, some new beginning, I don't know. But I must find a new change of scenery. I have lingered here for months, and while I have survived, I am still living in his shadow. This whole town, all the countryside, everything here... it is all touched by our memories together.
Gamferth has offered to accompany me, as his business in the north is apparently concluded as well, and he has no wish to linger here. I do not know him well, but we have spoken several times, and he seems a jovial and warm sort of fellow. I could certainly use the company to keep me out of my heavier and more somber thoughts on the road. And of course, should danger arise, a sturdy man with a blade could very well be the difference between me arriving in Rohan soundly, or not at all. To my own credit, I have continued my practice with my own sword, though I'm not what anyone could call proficient.
I have nearly everything packed. The cottage will be locked and will keep just fine until my return. If I return.
