Last night was the hardest since my arrival here in Bree. There is very little more painful than having to leave behind the place you belong.
Two days ago, I received a letter from my father. I found out that he’s dying. And he wants me at his side.
I said goodbye to Miss Brynleigh, and we both nearly cried. When we embraced, for once I was unsure whether it was for her own comfort or mine.
I’m not leaving for three days yet. But the weight of leaving behind the relationships I’ve forged is heavy upon my shoulders. And amidst that is an equally heavy fear. A purely irrational, base feeling whose very presence makes me hate it. I fear for her, and for myself.
I told her again today, that I love her.
I have no idea how long I may be gone. My father could live for weeks, months. He could pass before I even arrive. What could happen in that time? I fell in love with her in five days. I can see it in her eyes, she is just now beginning to feel something. But what is it? Does she know? I feel I am reading a book that was written without ink. I am certain she is still not ready. But what if I return to find her in the arms of another? I shall be a broken man, his heart ripped from his chest and impaled on a spike. Yet I will be unable to say a word. This agony is my burden, and mine alone, through no fault of hers. And the fact is, she owes me nothing.
Later into the evening, there was a gathering at the Sizzling Turtle, not far from the town center. Miss Inayat, Mister Arenborne and Mister Aeroden were there, and I told them the news. Something was weighing heavily on the minds of Miss Ina and Mister Aren, but they would not say what it was. I asked to speak to Aeroden outside, where I made him promise to take care of Bryn. He agreed, and we went back inside just in time for Bryn to arrive herself. And for once…for the first time ever, her presence did not make me happy. All I could think about was the fact that I must leave her behind. Between that and my own dark mood, it was not a pleasant evening, and I found myself having to depart.
I have always felt deeply, perhaps too deeply. But last night…. I cried for hours.
The one thing to look forward to from this, is seeing my beloved sister Evaelynne again. But I fear that may not be enough.
