A lot has happened since I put quill to parchment and released my thoughts into script. I am no scholar, no learned man or no bloody hero. I am but an average man. A man in search of his own destiny. A man who's mind analyze and puzzle on the workings of his own thoughts. And these thoughts I place upon paper. For who to read, I don't care. I throw them to the wind and the streets and the falling feet.
It's strange how one can feel the breeze of life blow through your hair, capture your soul for that fleeting moment of time and you get lost in it all. This moment of time and nothing else. It is also strange how you tend to forget. I do that. I tend to forget about a past, about a little boy or girl that she is carrying. I've not seen Evangilline for what seems like a whole lifetime. Her laugh and smile I will probably never see again, neither feel her hand upon mine. But as time, the destroyer of all, came and snatched her away, I now sit here, still. She, I don't know where she is anymore. Yet, there has come another into my life, one who's smile and eyes laugh when they see me. And once and yet again I almost lost her, too.
What precisely transpired on our trip into the Shire and how we came to rescue Piperel from the bandits, I'm not going to dwell upon; she came back to me and for that I will always be indebted to the Dawn. I'm not a religious man, and never will believe in the gods, yet, that day I sent up a prayer to the Valar. I would murder my way through a camp of raging orcs to save her, but at least I had the help of my companions with me that day. I'm just glad the bandits didn't hurt her too much. It could have been so much worse.
I'm beginning to stay over at Pip's apartment more than not recently. Not just because I've nowhere else to go, no, I've come to miss her company when away. Her laugh and smile. I can't feel guilty about this anymore. Not anymore.
I know she adores her brother and I should try to at least understand the bastard's self-righteous and bigoted views. I'm no cook, but I'm just afraid that one can not mix oil and water. One will never agree with the other. Tosie asked me to make amends with the Watcher and I promised I'll try. I'll do so for Pip, however. She seems to resent my anger towards the cunt. I don't blame her; he's her brother, for gods sake.
This day, after spending it mostly in the company of one I truly care for, I feel at least this inner relieve. As if things perhaps didn't turn out too bad. It's strange, strange to feel this contentment again after all this time...
