Late night
Things change... And not for good! I don't like it, so I'm leaving before I cause any unwanted but maybe necessary trouble. I am too overwhelmed lately, I try to be relaxed but they won't leave me. Why? What did I do? I don't understand. I have thought of this many times but still I can't understand, so I'm leaving, I'm leaving to relax, forget and let it pass hoping that when I return things will be better.
I set out around midnight and the night is falling as if hunting me as I gallop as fast as I can towards the mines of Moria, behind me the moon is rising, shedding light on my way, the light that night devours before me... Hopefully I will get there in three or four days and I will spend a couple of weeks. I think it will be enough, far away from everything, people, memories, myself... I fear myself, I fear that I might lose control... So instead of risking it I'm going down there and slay some Orcs, I believe it will do me some good.
I will miss the company and the others, I will even miss the pony a bit, I will miss those raining days where I was getting there to find shelter and drink a mug of warm tea in front of the fireplace. I will miss Bree-land and it's surroundings, but I know I will miss it more if I stay there, and I might miss myself as well if I do.
Later
I'm almost half-way in the Lone-Lands, sometimes the desert makes me uneasy, the chilly wind and the silence make me think that I'm being watched, it makes me think that I will get attacked any moment. Any moment now... On my left is Weathertop, I see it's shaded figure staring at me, hiding the moon behind it, making the night blacker... That's the worst part!
I hear wolves' howl, but I won't gallop fast no more, my horse has already run enough, it's time to walk, slowly as I write. The wolves are getting nearer it seems... Then they go away, then again near... And then away. They patrol their territories, they won't attack someone that passes by like me, I stay on the road and I will not strain from it.
I feel already relaxed, as if a burden left me. But now that I think again I can't help myself from getting angry, or saddening. What's wrong with me? What? What did I do? Why do I deserve all this? Why?
The wind calms me, it's chilly, almost cold, as cold I am deep down, I hope I will find myself in Moria... I trust that place will help me, it's the only place I feel I can call home... Why I do not know, and maybe I will never know, I will just stick with the fact that it's home...
Some hours left before sunshine, I will ride and sleep when the sun comes out, I will travel by night only, I want to change my habits these weeks, just for the fun of it and the sake of living at night, getting to know the darkness, so Moria, here I come to you my home...
