(East of the Sea of Rhun, the year 1985 of the Third Age)
As one of my people’s main record keepers, I feel behoven to introduce myself, winemo, that you grow in understanding as you grow in age. For my part, I understood little at your tender years, and though it be far in my past, I was more interested in play and exploration, in swimming in the lake than in learning. Have our descendants become so dull, that all they would do is feed their minds?
‘Nay’ you say, ‘ feed minds and body alike.’ Ah well, child of the Noldor, I shall do what I can, but understand from the start, many Ages divide you and I. So if you understand not what I say, (my grasp on your form of Quenya is but reasonable, through lack of practice) ask, and I shall find other ways of communicating. You speak but little Quenya yourself? What is Arda coming to? The tongue of the Sindar it is then. For the most part.
How do you address me? Ah, how considerate. I have been introduced to you as Aicanwe, a Dark Elf. Neither are who I am, you understand. And I have accumulated many names. But I shall start there, with how you address me, and tell you something of my history.
Hisilion was my first name. Or as close to that as the spoken tongue now allows. Neither a father nor mother name, as later children were to be granted, but one agreed on by both, and as a name from the ‘mists’ of time, I am content for you to use it, if you wish?
Yes? That makes the matter simple. As for you, baby though you are to me, I would address you as you wish, rather than as ‘baby’. Your mother name? No? What is your choice then? Almiel…blessed daughter? A beautiful name. I understand, it is a name you would only give to one you trust. I am honoured. For trust is important, and oh so easily lost.
I had a daughter. I had two sons. I had a wife. I loved them all. But that was in a distant past. No, Almiel, I need not speak about them. Their tale, and my grief, adds little at the moment. One step at a time.
So, I was born in Cuivienen, of the seventh generation from those who awakened. I was of the second clan, the people of Tata and Tatie. Fifty six of our clan were awakened by the Lake. We were many more in number by the time I arrived. The eldest of four, my brother and two sisters followed me with my small knowledge as if I was one much learned. There was only three hundred years between me and the youngest. I recall mostly joy and excitement from that time. A little later it was we first learned about the shadows in the hills, who watched us from afar, and after that some of our number began ‘disappearing’ as if they had never existed. I will not speak of those times until you are older. I understand, you have covered some of this in your studies. Yes, they were terrible times that we struggled to discover how to avoid and resist those who hunted us. But rare was it that any were taken under starlight. Only those who walked away from the light and the waters were lost, it seemed. Enough. I know you are curious, but at present those years aid not to my tale.
I wed with the one who had my heart’s love when I was a little under two hundred years. She was of the same generation. We lived in simplicity, in joy and in thankfulness. Simplicity I say? There was nothing ‘simple’ about the wonders that surrounded us, but then, we had not the minds to understand the arts behind it all. Never have we understood more than a few of those arts, even our most brilliant. And I am not one of those.
So address me as Hisilion, if you will. It is rarely used nowadays, but brings me joy to hear it spoken. The name I was introduced to you with, Aicanwe, means ‘terrible commander’. Of course none would name their child such! Nay, it was after several hundreds of years that I earned that ‘epesse’. For I was terrible, to any servant of the Dark Lord who held sway. Naraarhuine was I also named by some. My terrible names belong to terrible times. It is my hope those have passed, but also my suspicion they will return. Most of my people still use Aicanwe. You take my point, Almiel?
Hisilion is a name from the happiest days.
As for being a ‘Dark Elf’, well I embrace that assignation, depending on what the ‘dark’ refers to. All our kind, for yes, all elven kindred are the same kind, originated in the darkness, but with the bright stars overhead to illuminate us. We were all born in, but not abandoned to the darkness. Such is the will of the One. And even then, darkness of itself does not equate with evil, nor even loss of the ability to see. Darkness can be rest, can be stillness, can be introspection. Much good can come out of such darkness. In all these meanings, I am a Dark Elf.
By Dark Elf, some mean those who have not seen the light of the Two Trees, before they were destroyed. Those who were faithful to the plan of the One, and did not follow the Valar to their paradise after the War of the Powers. Yes, yes…the Valar thought to protect us. But the One had us awaken here for a reason. Some seemed to forget we were meant to face the darkness and help preserve the lands. But our three chosen Ambassadors persuaded many otherwise. So it was all of the first clan, half of our Second clan, and many of the third clan, followed the Vala to the West.
And we remained.
True enough is your question, Almiel. Many were afraid. As I said, a significant number believed we should remain where the One had planned. To defend our lands and resist any darkness. We stayed because we believed it right. We are called the Avari, the ‘unwilling’ by the Eldar. We have usually called ourselves ‘the Faithful’. Some others turned aside on the journey from Cuivienan, some because they grew afeared, seeing certain wreckage and destruction that resulted from the War of the Valar; some others were amazed at the beauty of new places they had not seen, and wanted to remain and discover more. Some wanted to sail on the Sea of Rhun, when we reached it. Some of those remained. To ‘fear’ the unknown contains an element of wisdom. But in general our folk’s curiosity overcomes fear. We are brave people. Nay, few remained out of fear. And so came the Sundering of the Elves. And since then it seems some seek to maintain that division. Elf against Elf, it was never meant to be. Oh yes, we have heard of the kinslayings, child of the Noldor. Think not, we ‘Avari’ are ignorant, nor that we alone are capable of ‘terrible’ things.
Winemo- Ancient Quenya for ‘baby or young child’.
Naraarhuine- I am aiming for ‘Fire against / in opposition to shadow here. Not general shadows of evening (lome) but deep shadows.
Aicanwe- Terrible commander
