Delioron watched the old dwarf eating. Radawen was still asleep in their shared guest-room, but Delioron had taken the old dwarf to the common room of the tavern. The dwarf ate eggs again as he had done the day before, but this time he was careful not to eat too many like he had done yesterday. He ate two eggs with relish as if they were some rare delicacies.
Delioron had a steaming hot mug of mulled wine in front of him, but he did not eat. He only ate for fuel and when his body demanded it. He derived no pleasure from food. The old dwarf had egg yolk stuck in his beard. He sucked on his beard and the stain disappeared. He licked his lips with his thin tongue. His emaciated neck was all movement as he ate – his Adam’s apple bobbed, the contours of his muscles shivered when he swallowed.
”What are you going to do now? Delioron asked.
”You don’t suppose I should eat one more egg?”
Delioron just watched him and did not say a word.
”Cheese”, said the old dwarf. ”I could eat cheese with apple jam. Just look at all this delicious jam! We never had anything like it in Mordor!” The old dwarf reached his hand over to the jar of jam and started spooning it on a big chunk of cheese. He stuffed the cheese in his mouth whole and started munching on it like an overgrown chipmunk. Suddenly his eyes turned sad, foggy like glass windows in the rain.
”We could have murdered each other over a meal like this in Mordor. Did you know that?”
”Is that so?”
”Indeed. We are all beasts when it comes down to survival.”
Delioron stared at the plate of food, trying to comprehend how somebody could kill another for these scraps.
”When I was a very young dwarf I always thought there were at least some absolute truths in the world. There was good somewhere, and then there was evil. And freedom. But now I have grown very old and very wise.” The old dwarf smiled sadly.
”You are free now”, Delioron said.
”No I am not, if you don’t mind me saying so.” The old dwarf bit on a chunk of black bread with his blackened teeth. ”I am not free and you know it. My prison has just gotten bigger. You want to take me to Minas Tirith where I will be thrown into another prison because I am Krarli, a traitor who once collaborated with Sauron’s servants and is responsible for the imprisonment and death of Thráin II. Why did I do what I did? I cannot remember my reasons anymore but I am certain I believed it was for the greater good somehow. Greater good! Hah!”
He dropped the bread and reached out his hand to have another egg. His eyes were moist with tears. ”In Mordor I could have killed anyone for a chunk of bread and it was more important than all the Rings of Power in the world. Do you not see what betrayal everything is?”
Delioron waited in silence. His hands lied in front of him on the table. He had not touched his mulled wine.
”What a waste! Look at my life! My whole life is gone. You can see the tears in my eyes. I can still weep for my fate, for who else would weep for me? My whole life is almost over and I was a prisoner for most of it, and still there will be no freedom or peace for me.”
”Who are you?” Delioron finally asked. The old dwarf looked astonished.
”I have already told you. I am Krarli.”
”No you are not”, Delioron said.
The old dwarf stared at him.
”Krarli died in Mordor a long time ago. You are someone else. Take Gulim’s pony and ride out of here. Ride north. Perhaps you can find Erebor or some other dwarven settlement before your time in Middle-Earth is over. Perhaps you can still find some peace.”
”Would you let me go?”
”Yes.”
”And does Lady Radawen agree with you?”
Delioron did not hesitate. ”Yes.”
”Why?”
”That is my secret.”
”Why did Glunri do this to me? I could have done anything for him. I sacrificed my whole life for him. Should I not seek vengeange?”
”Do you feel the need for vengeange?”
”For a long time I did.” He fell silent. ” It’s what kept me alive. He abandoned me.”
”No. He betrayed you.”
”That’s right. I guess there is a difference. It took me a long time before I understood what he had done to me. Why would I not want to avenge now, go to Zigil-jâbal to make sure that the truth of his treachery comes out and he will suffer like I have suffered?”
”Who cares about the truth?”
The old dwarf raised his head and looked sharply at the man with a frozen face sitting across him on the other side of the table.
”I do. I bled for him. I suffered for him. Yet he grew big and strong and powerful when he was responsible for all of it. He just wanted power for the sake of power. He lied to me!”
”And now you will die if you go and seek vengeange. Your ’truth’ will lead you to imprisonment or death. My ’truth’ will set you free.”
”But I can feel it, master Delioron. I am a dwarf. I am a dwarf!”
”All right.” Delioron finally tasted his mulled wine and grimaced. He set the mug on the table. ”Deli will take care of your revenge. He will see to it that Glunri gets his just punishment. You will take care of your own survival.”
”I do not understand this”, said the old dwarf. ”Should I just take your word for it?”
The old dwarf looked up with a sly expression in his eyes. It was the expression of the eternal prisoner under constant surveillance, a prisoner who endured it because he hid his strength from all those who sought to bring him down.
”Yes you should. We are not responsible for this mess but we are in it up to our necks. And so is Radawen. We have no other choice and neither do you.”
”Then we are all prisoners”, said the old dwarf.
Delioron said nothing.
”But it is a bigger prison than the one I come from”, said the old dwarf. ”Yes, I will do as you say.”
