(I read this poem at the Green Dragon Friday Pie Day role playing event, 15th March 2024)
Gammer’s Perfect Pies
Sweet ones and savouries,
No matter what the flavour is,
Gammer’s pies, they are the best,
By every measure, pass the test!
When I was young, each week we’d go,
To Gammer’s house, come rain or snow,
And every time as a surprise,
She’d bake one of her perfect pies.
In all the land none could compare,
With my old Gammer’s shortcrust fare,
Her pies and tarts were such a treat,
No baker with her could compete.
Yet as I grew it came to me,
A pastry chef I too might be,
Hoped I may match my Gammer’s art,
That I might bake the perfect tart.
So, I set out upon a search,
Both near and far did I research
To find her secret recipe,
That I a great cook too could be!
My fame the world would shout out loud,
And of me Gammer would be proud.
First though, ‘twould be expedient,
To find the key ingredient!
All corners of the Shire I’d scour,
To find the very finest flour,
To bake the pastries of my dreams,
I bought best butter, richest cream.
A pinch of salt and sugar too,
Tried every herb and spice I knew,
Nutmeg, cinnamon and thyme,
Beaten egg yolk, lemon rind.
Pumpkin, apples, pears and cherries,
Honeycomb and sweetest berries,
Chicken, pork and fresh caught fish,
Tried all, to find my perfect dish.
I baked pies savoury and sweet,
But Gammer’s pies I could not beat,
At last, I hung my head in shame,
As back to her I downcast came.
I straightaway of her enquired
Bid her tell what was required,
Her secret begged she tell to me,
Reveal her special recipe!
Then Gammer smiled, gave me a kiss,
Said “Listen well., I’ll tell ye this!”
I will remember all my days,
Her words will stay with me always.
“A pinch of laughter, love that’s pure
A good firm base, a crust secure,
Put sweetest thoughts into your filling,
You’ll make a perfect pie, God willing!
Sweet ones and savouries,
No matter what the flavour is,
Gammer’s pies, they are the best,
By every measure, pass the test!
