Feckin' man.
I hate...
...these feelings.
Needing another person started all the trouble in my life. It's always led to trouble since.
Am I hiding from it now? I don't go into town much anymore. Sure, why not, I'm hiding from it. What's wrong with that? What's wrong with hiding from dangerous things?
Poor man. Go find a nice town lass.
Far Chetwood is my home, anyway. The feel of rough tree bark, soft sandy soil, sun-warmed water in the pond. How could anyone prefer living in a house? All closed in, shut off from the LIFE in the world outside, surrounded by bits and bobs that you don't even need to stay alive or be happy.
I can't drag anyone out here with me. And I won't be leashed and dragged into town.
Maybe I should go explore south a ways. I've been saying I would for so long. The Big Lake was wondrous, though I didn't want to get too close to the ruined city. I saw it afar, all grey and crumbling. I love rock and stone. I wanted to go in and climb over all that lovely, cool stone and feel it under my hands. But I know men live in there. Some say it's ranger types, some say it's bandits, and some say it's evil men from up north. I'm not foolish enough to go in there alone.
Feckin' man. I wish I didn't like him so. He keeps leaving messages for me at the inn. I finally wrote one back to him.
Maybe it will go away in time.
