Spring is here the breeze lately, is warm and pleasant, flowing freely through the mountains. I am not alone anymore. It feels strange, the term, 'friendship' so foreign to me. As are the ways of the West. Do not take this for a complaint diary. These are just observations. Observations of my heart and soul. Words are so difficult when they pass through my lips. Writing is a gift for the voiceless. I am, still, uncomfortable when I try to talk. Sometimes when I open my mouth, I swear, the others are looking at me cross-eyed. No, no, balance. Balance is the key. I cannot get caught up in these details. However, when I write them down, it feels like there is a great weight being lifted from my chest. I don't know why, my emotions rise up so easily, in this place. I remember Nan telling me that vulnerability is for fools. She told me that a vulnerable woman is useless to herself and the people around her. No, I won't revisit this further, I must remain present. There is much to be done. The men want me to train with the women. Maybe I'll start with Winnie first. I cannot afford to lose myself in my pondering again. I have been told that I have nothing to prove. But I am tired of feeling like a weak link. That will bring everything down with her. I will continue to move. To get up, just as I have done all my life until this point. All will be well.. one way or another.
