I have been spending a lot of time with Bainiel since she started crawling. Seregrian has still shown a desire to remain in the tower, and a need to return to the Sanctum and upper bedchamber. She comes down occasionally to feed both the baby and Herself, but more often She is content to eat and feed Bainiel in the upper reaches of the Lair. I happily accommodate that, as I sense in Her the need for some solitude and a return to study, apparently mostly introspective. Other members of the House, when visiting, are not alarmed by this, but are concerned, and I assure them She is behaving exactly as we should expect. She approaches the role of motherhood in a manner She finds most dependable, as a scholar. Her frequent correspondences with Caladna, who is also a new mother, answers some questions, but of course raises more for Her scholarly mind. I am happy they are staying in touch.
My daughter and I have bonded nicely over the recent months. She began to crawl very quickly, and soon became frustrated with the slow pace of hands and knees. Before long, she was teetering on tiny feet as she held onto furniture and within moments, or so it seemed, she was walking (I shouted for Her Ladyship to join us for Bainiel’s first step). An unsteady pace transformed into scampering within days, accompanied by squeals of laughter. With every stage of her ambulatory development, her face is charmingly drawn into the most serious of expressions, as if she were preparing to do the single most important thing of her life. I wonder if she will turn to wandering, as I did, early in life.
Bainiel’s curiosity has no bounds. Everything attracts her attention and is so demanding on her that she often tires before her inquisitive mind wants rest, and she will fight needed sleep. These moments will not be calmed without her mother’s tender embrace and comforting breast. Even in our quiet moments together, Bainiel will suddenly reach up to grab my eyepatch, and when she manages to pull it away from my face, she stares at the empty space where the eye should be, not in fear and loathing, but instead with intense curiosity. In fact, the toddler is fearless, and even an unexpected source of discomfort, such as a fall or collision, will only brighten her eyes, draw out her serious face, and compel her to explore with a focused determination that pierces the moment of tears.
As I watch her grow and change, I am aware of how our life as a family has transformed the relationship between my Wife and I. Once giddy with the fragrance of a springtime-like romance, it has now deepened into a lush summer of unspoken and mutual respect and dependence. Where at one time we were as butterflies dancing about each other in anticipated joining, we are now as a pair of songbirds, nested and taking our turns caring for our little chick and loving each other through our joined love for our daughter. Nothing has been lost, but everything has changed, and all of it dearer to me.
