The orcs rushed out of their base camp, scurrying away from the whips of their masters. Their slow-witted brains reacted only to the most basic things: desire for food, fear, pain, hatred and rage. And now they had a little of each, for they had been under the command of harsh and ruthless commanders for days.
However, Tradul and Kafzagtith had one thing that set them apart from the rest of the evil creatures: they claimed to be... Friends!
When they arrived at Tol Ascanen they were greeted by another orc, who did not seem to be much different from them. Tradul had received wounds and scars from a bear a few months ago, so he had a flattened face and a porcine nose. Despite his thinner appearance, with abnormally long arms, he was somewhat stronger than the others and liked to show it.
Kafzagtith, on the other hand, had a broader build, strong muscles and fangs protruding from between his black lips.
The newcomer looked more like Kafzagtith than Tradul and the two friends scowled at him. They had been told that this newcomer was "special", that he came from the dark land and was better than them. Better than them! Bah! There was nothing special about him!
"My name is Grudluk", said the stranger.
"I could kill you with my finger in a lazy day" said Tradul, looking askance at the new orc he had just met.
"Ha! I'd like to see you try!"replied the new one, with a grimace that was probably a crooked grin, "but save it for the elves!"
At the mention of his enemies, Tradul let out a terrible roar that did not, however, attract the attention of the other orcs in the area. It was customary for language among his kind to be unsubtle and shouty.
"I HATE ELVES," said Tradul, beating his chest, "But I can hate them MORE!
"I hate them too! More than I hate you!"
"I HATE THEM MORE THAN I HATE YOU!"
Seeing that his friend seemed to be getting enraged, Kafzagtith moved to his side and let out a menacing growl. Between the two of them, they could kill that guy in a heartbeat.
Grudluk, who proved to have more intelligence than the two orc friends shared, shook his head.
"You can't fight on an empty stomach. Let's get something to eat."
The two immediately forgot their hatred for the new orc and raised their hands in approval.
"Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat!" shouted Kafzagtith.
"We should hunt! .... Human legs! Or hobbit feet," Tradul's eyes sparkled at the idea, and Kafzagtith began to salivate visibly.
"Yes! Yes! Yes!"
Grudluk, however, did not seem willing to get carried away with all the euphoria.
"Calm down now! Let's face it. You're both complete idiots," he said, trying to bring some semblance of calm.
"And you talk fancy for an orc! -Tradul replied, offended by the insult and already feeling the hunger in his belly "You sound like an elf!"
"Elf! Elf! Elf! Hahahahaha",laughed Kafzagtith, scoffing.
Grudluk threw his arms up in the air, glaring at the two hungry orcs.
"Bah! I'll have you know I'm from Mordor!" He waited to see if it would provoke a reaction in the other two, but only got a blank stare from them "Orcs are smarter in those parts! And deadlier! And STRONGER!"
"BAH Mordor this, Mordor that" replied Tradul, not accepting Grudluk's speech, "Where was Mordor when Isengard fell?"
"The Great Eye has no need of that wizard!"
Grudluk's words left the two orcs confused, and they looked at each other. They had always heard of the Great Eye, but they had never been beyond those mountains. They knew it had great power, but no one had ever taught them, nor had they ever attended orc school.
Tradul, unwilling to be cowed, pounded his fist into the ground. He could do it easily, because his arms reached below his knees.
"I don't even know where I come from, but I'm STRONGER," he said, as if that might shorten any argument, "AND FASTER."
"Do I come from somewhere? "asked Kafzagtith, opening the door to philosophical thoughts that did not fit into the two friends' small brains.
Grudluk decided to cut the subject short before they both got nosebleeds from thinking.
"You don't need to know where you're from to kill, so kill!"
"KIIIILL" shouted the two orcs.
Without waiting and without a thought for anything but their stomachs full of delicious, tender human flesh, Tradul and Kafzagtith began to run, crossing the bridge that led them away from Tol Ascarnen and into the forests of Hithlad.
But before they could go too far, Grudluk grabbed them by the scruff of the neck, forcing them to stand still.
"You idiots! You can't just run into battle without a strategy!" shouted the orc of Mordor, visibly angry "You two are the reason Isengard fell!"
Tradul looked at Grudluk as if he were speaking to him in Elvish and scratched his head, where a bit of thick, coarse hair was growing.
"Stra....tegui?" he said, stammering, not understanding the word.
Kafzagtith, meanwhile, was looking around nervously, too excited by the idea of blood to calm himself with strange words.
"Where is the battle? "he said, "Battle! Battle! Battle!!"
"There is no battle, you idiot!" Grudluk raised his fist, ready to strike Kafzagtith if he didn't calm down. "But we have to plan our strategy well for when we meet the enemies or else..."
An arrow flew past, so close to Grudluk that it wounded his cheek. The orc's skin was very tough, but that metal was designed to hurt creatures of the dark, and his face began to sting where a little blood was flowing.
"A HUMAN" Tradul shouted, drawing his huge, blunt sword, pointing at a woman in the distance, "KILL HER!"
Kafzagtith didn't think twice and lunged at her, like a madman. Tradul went after him, ignoring Grudluk's shouts of warning.
As they were reaching the human, who was drawing her bow again, they saw to their dismay that she was not alone... There was with her an elf and what appeared to be a hobbit with flowers in her hair.
The three orcs looked at each other, knew they were at a disadvantage..... They immediately turned back, running for their lives like hell, dodging with little agility the arrows the human was shooting.
It was only when they reached a rocky area that they were able to pull themselves together, for they had managed to hide.
"Bah! You two messed me up!" shouted Grudluk, terribly frustrated.
"BAH" replied Tradul - "It was you! and your strategri!"
"Battle! Battle! Battle!" - added Kafzagtith, who was still in a good mood despite the defeat - 'HAHahhahaa'.
"Bah! We didn't even have a strategy prepared!" Grudluk stamped his foot on the ground, so angrily that he hurt himself a bit.
"We should just RUN and then KILL" Said Tradul, putting the sword back in his belt, without much care.
"WE NEED STRATEGY" Grudluk approached Tradul, ready to rip his head off.
"I DONT KNOW WHAT STRATEGORY IS" replied Tradul, standing up and preparing himself for the fight he was surely going to have against Grudluk "I SEE ELF I KILL ELF"
"Scatergories! Scatergories! Scatergories!" laughed Kafzagtith, breaking the tension between the two orcs.
Grudluk let out a sigh.
"Look, here's what we're going to do," said Grudluk, knowing that he had to get the two orcs to understand him, "You're going to stand on the rock and act as bait. When the enemies approach, we will jump on top of you and kill them. They'll think it's just you two idiots. "
" But .... " Kafzagtith looked at the Mordor orc with confusion, running his tongue over his parched lips "There are only three of us."
"That's why I'm going for reinforcements, you fool! That's why a strategy is needed!"
Kafzagtith and Tradul looked at each other and shrugged. Waiting on top of a stone seemed like a simple task, and one they could understand, so they didn't refuse.
Grudluk marched on, trying not to attract the attention of the enemy, taking advantage of the shadows and darkness of the night, though the huge moon in the sky made it difficult.
The two orc friends climbed onto the stone and began to look out over the landscape of Ettenmoors. They had never visited anywhere else and did not dislike it, though it was a little too green for their twisted tastes.
At first the waiting didn't bother them, but they soon grew impatient.
"IM HUNGRY" shouted Tradul into the night, as if the stars could summon him a big plate of chicken feet.
"How long we have to wait?" Kafzagtith asked, picking his nose with true devotion.
Tradul shrugged, and just then, an arrow very similar to the one that had wounded Grudluk slammed into his shoulder.
"AAAARGH," he shouted, just before tearing it out without a second thought. The pain gave him strength, and the hatred for the human made him forget the wound.
The two orcs climbed down from the stone and, forgetting their strategy, rushed at the human again. They were in a clear minority, because now the human was accompanied by one of her friends and some guards who were not going to show mercy to the two of them.
As Tradul fought back as best he could, he looked at his friend. They were going to die out there, like two more orcs in this war they didn't know, with no more glory than tearing a few legs off the Dark Lord's enemies.
But it had been fun. And they had been friends, which was the important thing.
But a roar of pure hatred filled their rotting hearts with dark hope.
Grudluk appeared, accompanied by several orcs and some wargs, who rushed at the necks of the free peoples of Middle-earth, while a few Uruk Hai shot poisoned arrows at them from a distance.
Thanks to the manoeuvre and being caught by surprise, the orc enemies did not last long and soon their sweet blood stained the land.
"See! Now that's a proper battle!" shouted Grudluk, approaching Tradul and Kafzagtith with a smirk that almost didn't fit on his face.
"HAHAHAHAHAHA" laughed Tradul, just before kicking the corpse of the woman who had been shooting arrows "STUPID HUMAN"
"Good thing I was here to turn the tide of battle" Grudluk said, putting away his blood-covered sword without bothering to clean it.
"Well, let's get to eating!"said Kafzagtith, pulling out the special knife he had for tearing apart the victims of his battles and then eating them "Elf ears! Human legs! Hobbit feet! Delicious!"
"Ha!" laughed Grudluk, "This human was almost as dumb as you. She went into the battle...WITHOUT A STRATEGY!"
"Scatergories!" shouted Tradul and Kafzagtith at the same time, a little more friendly towards what they saw as their new boss, who had proved to be quite clever and had saved their necks.
Grudluk shook his head, knowing he was smarter than those two knuckleheads, but did not refuse to sit with them as they cut into the human's flesh and began to eat, satisfied at last.
