I am having nightmares again. I do not know why. Perhaps it is stress. Most likely.
The dreams start off with me falling, I hit the ground and lay there a while, hearing all sorts of strange noises. I found a spear made entirely of bone. I picked it up and got charged by loved ones and friends and… I kill them all. Their blood stained the spear and me. Then my mother was there. She told me to truly open my heart to my husband. Dem takes the spear from me and kills me off, then I wake up…
I am terrified to sleep right now.
I lashed out at a ranger named Ron. In anger. I nearly attacked him and hit him, but I held myself back… Barely.
If Dem and Lyca were not present, I surely would have. I am not a violent man anymore, I won't lie, I am worried.
Ron is a peculiar man, one who is about the same size as Dem, if not bigger. Dem said he used to be a father figure to him many, many years ago. Ron left Bree and this hurt Dem greatly. I am trying to help them both heal from the past.
I notice Ron pulling the same crap I do, trying to pull all blame onto himself.
I am worried about what he went through that he is not telling. Perhaps I need to help him more than I thought, but I am already helping so many. I worry that helping him will make Dem angry at me… Dem is going through enough without me adding to it.
