Pertaining to Egfor and Demlemoth.
They are a peculiar pair, a dynamic couple. They compliment each other incredibly well. The love and support they have for each other is unconditional and mesmerizing. I will admit, I use them as a guide and reference for my own relationship.
Love is such a foreign concept to me still. Dark Servants felt love, yes, we had a word for it. However, it was dark, corrupted and twisted. You'd say you love someone as you sink a knife into their ribs.
This pure, light, unconditional love scares me more than that. It is something I have yearned for since my youth. I was told this kind of love is a weakness that is easily exploited. I do not think that is true. I see it is a vicious motivator, and love frightens me. I have seen Egfor unhinged and fighting to be able to see his love again. It terrifies me and enraptures me.
I do not know what these men think of me nor do I care to know, dreading the reality.
I feel as if I am merely tolerated due to my children and being with Eira. The three of us did not get on at first, quite the opposite. It was a hostile meeting, and I am sure that the reason Dem's hand stayed was due to Briar and Dammon. I can tell the urge was there, to kill me and take the boys. I do not blame them. I am a rather awful parent. I haven't a clue on how to be a good one.
I worry that the desire to spill blood is still there with these two. I have a guarded, distanced trust of them. I wish to trust them, but I cannot help but feel malice and hatred in their gaze, especially of Dem.
Perhaps I am interpreting things wrong...
