Egfor needed peace and rest. Syllea needed understanding, calm, and love; I feel like I failed both. The knock on the door…family. Why did it have to be a family that would tear my close-knit Breeland family apart? I love my children; when they hurt, I hurt, I love my husband, his pains are mine. I hurt them both that night.
How can I ever forgive myself? I can’t. Syllea was in the spare room napping or pretending to. Egfor and I were relaxing as he should be. Even if Darel had told Egfor, a man from Rohan had checked into the in. I had decided I needed to talk to this man alone first. I did not mean for it to be in our home.
He knocked on the door, claiming he had a message for Egfor, an urgent message. Two of the guards I have on the house grounds came up behind him. I told him I was his husband and that I would see Egfor got the message. I did not wish to let him in. The man hemmed and hesitated. I don’t know what made me do it, but I invited him in to speak. I should have gone outside and closed the door.
Both heard the news, Egfor’s father was coming to kill him. But was this a trap? It very well could be. I motioned to Syllea, told the guards if the messenger even twitched to kill him, and went to speak to Egfor in our bedroom. Egfor confirmed he trusted Helmwod, and the three of us went out to the main room.
I made hot cocoa for everyone because I needed to think. Egfor chatted with what turned out to be his cousin. The man seemed nice enough, but I was wary. So many people telling me untruths had made me a distrusting person at times. Especially when it came from Rohan, a land where many sided with the white wizard and pretended they did not. One of his brothers-in-law proved that not long ago.
While we sipped on cocoa, Darel busted into our home out of breath, what I feared for so long; Egfor’s father was at the inn. I told Egfor and Syllea to stay. Egfor being wounded was in no condition to confront his father. Plain and simple. Darel did not say it was his father, but I knew. One of those things that something from deep inside you knows.
My plan was simple, tie the man up and put him to trial with his family as the judge. Let them decide his fate, and I would see to it that it was done. So much for my plan. Instead, I ended up trying to kill him. We won’t talk about kill or live. It doesn’t matter. Every piece of me wanted the man dead. My monster came out. I would have killed him, too, if it wasn’t for hearing Syllea in the dim light spot in my brain that remains when it takes over.
I struggled, I fought, I came back to myself. It was too late. The damage was done. I didn’t kill the man, but she had seen the monster. Now I weep for the hurt I have caused two people I love beyond words.
