When Egfor told me he was merely a place holder to me, he might as well have cut my knife out with a hot dagger. If anyone was a placeholder it was my Jae. I never shared my special hidey-hole with him. I never took him to make with him in my personal estate. We never planned a holiday away from Bree together, and we spent more time apart living our own lives than together. Sure the few short weeks in between his departures were spent together, but I spend more time with Egfor than I did Jae.
How do I make him see this when everything I say falls on deaf ears and ever thing I do falls on blind eyes. I don't want to push him into making a commitment, he is far from ready, but I don't want him to continually think I am like all the others that have passed through his life, because I am not, I will not leave him and I will not let him leave me with a damn good fight, even if it gets physical.
So how do I show this stubborn, ox-headed, wolf-man that I love him and will be here always for him? Yes, I know his argument. Death, I can't promise to not die on him, and he is true in that. I can't. But any other lame excuse he can come up with I can promise him won't happen. For every fault, he names I can list ten good things. Besides, I have my own faults that he accepts. And the gods know I have plenty, maybe even more than him. But it is not a contest. I don't care what his faults are, I still love him. Is that not what love is about?
((The last lines are smeared.))
