The Odious Order of the Transferred Deputy
(Being a letter exchange between Lancogard North-took and Primstone of the Watch, Brockenborings)
THE IVY BUSH, HOBBITON, Westfarthing in the Shire, on this the 21st day of Wedmath:
My Dear Roliman:
At last, a break in the action! Golendad Boffin, the Shirriff of Eastfarthing, has finally returned to duty! It seems that the last few letters I fired off to Goldie, keeping him appraised of the alarming events here, made him decide to cut his stay short and come home early. I spent nearly a whole day with him in the Stock Shirriff-house, poring over my reports and bringing him up to date on the goings-on.
Just a few points of note for us: the business with the wolves in both the Hobbiton and Scary districts may have impact on our watch, though the issue with the ruffians away south near Narrowcleave is being dealt with quite handily by the Bounders, as backed up by the Eastfathing Vigilance Committee – I shall make further report of them as needed.
With that being concluded, I thought to head back to the Northfarthing by way of Budgeford and Scary, but a letter I received via Quick Post changed everything. Shirriff Smallburrow over Hobbiton way, upon receiving my report of the wolves, immediately sent word to Michel Delving to request my reassignment (temporarily, he assures me) to the Westfarthing Watch, to report to him in Hobbiton with all due speed! At the bottom of the letter was the seal of Second Shirriff Bunce, which in my mind made it as official as it gets!
I figured on getting over to Hobbiton and finding out what was the reason behind such urgency – and when I did, well, that started my investigation. The situation back in Stock was cause for concern enough, but what I found in Hobbiton is downright frustrating! Shirriff Smallburrow is a good sort, and one can overlook his casual attitude towards his office, but he’s showing a more serious stripe now. I think my report of the wolfpack situation was the match that lit the fire under his teakettle at last. He has not one but FOUR unsolved cases here; not only unsolved, but unstarted, and the fourth only just came in after I arrived!
Well in any event, Rolo, I suppose this letter will have to serve as semi-official notice that I, at the conclusion of my temporary assignment, have been temporarily reassigned to the Westfarthing Office with all papers in order and proper.
I remain
Yours in Service to the Shire,
LANCOGARD
THE OFFICE OF THE WATCH, BROCKENBORINGS, Northfarthing in the Shire, on this the 23rd day of Wedmath:
My Dear Lancogard:
That roaring sound you most likely heard down Hobbiton way was the echo of my reaction to your last letter! Of all the temerity and uppishness for Cock-Robin to demand reassignment of my Deputy-Shirriff, who is ALREADY on assignment elsewhere, and to go around my back and get Bodo’s seal on it for seconds!!
And to make matters worse, I got a letter, also by Quick Post, from Bodo himself regarding your ‘temporary reassignment’, all official-like and done proper, same as your letter! Oh, there was some back-room wheedling and deal-making for this one, and when I set to my OWN investigation, I intend to find out whose hand was in the jar to get this pulled off.
But, I suppose at this point there’s nothing to be done. You’re officially on assignment to the Westfarthing, but I’ll tell you this: wrap up whatever loose laundry those mutton-heads have left out in the rain, and get back here to the North-watch double-quick. We have a case-load starting to build up here as well. Reports are coming down the Oatbarton Road of those wolves of yours, seems they kept running until they were spotted clear north of the bounds, as far north as Dwaling. And there’s more disturbing news from up-away: there have been reports of ruffians and Big Folk from Dwaling as well, and they’re begging for more Bounders to see to the roads. I had figured on sending you, being as you’re from up that way near Long Cleeve originally, and know the lands up there; but now this has flummoxed all.
Get your business done quick, Lance, you’re needed back home!
Respectfully, I remain
Yours in Service to the Shire,
ROLIMAN
