Found:
It seems that I was incorrect. My lowered mood and altered habits have been noticed, even if only to a degree. Balnirar insisted I join him for a walk and, there on the hillside above Bree, plainly stated that I have been different since I came back. He asked what troubles me, and offered to lend an ear should I have a need to speak on it.
His concern is most touching, but I am still not ready to say those dreadful words. In time I shall, but not just yet. The wound is much too fresh, the pain still too raw.
Nevertheless, I appreciated his efforts, even as I wished he was less astute. I also very much appreciated the serenade; his bagpipe playing is really rather pleasant. I wonder why others dislike it so?
We spent some time with Kelynn, Wisterhya and... another whose name I did not catch. As usual, Wisterhya did most of the talking. She's sweet, but that hobbit could talk the stone off of a sun-kissed troll. I swear, any war would be over years sooner if she was sent as a forward scout to berate the opposing army. A pint-sized secret weapon.
I took some small joy in watching the banter between Kelynn and Khazim, though Wisterhya took offence at it. She was quick to jump to Kelynn's defence as if she believed Khazim was actually out to insult the woman. I've not known him for long, but I get the distinct impression that such a thing is not his style. Even if it were, I would expect more cutting words from one who wields them with such care and thought on a daily basis.
It seems that I must try harder, smile more, put effort into my retorts, for if I cannot fool one, then how can I hope to fool myself? I could choose not to, of course, to tackle this in the way that most would; endless blubbering, demands for sympathy and feeling sorry for myself, but that's just not me. I'd rather it go unnoticed. I'd rather deal with this in a way that I am equipped for.
I'd rather not face any more questions on the matter.
