I'm not supposed to get attached to people. That's the very first rule of the job. The second is that you're not supposed to get pregnant, and I didn't take precautions for that either. I've never felt so jittery before. And I am reckoning that it doesn't really matter if I get attached or not because he's not a client. I don't think it matters, I don't think it's good if I get attached to someone right now. I've got too many mouths to feed to be worrying about someone else on top of that, and if they're happy or if they aren't. I've got to keep the kids happy, I can't be bothered with a grown man.
But I'm still attached, either way. My boss has asked me to make sure I put in a request for something, but I'm not sure I can look at him properly without feeling nervous. It's supposed to be a very casual thing, something to just blow off some steam and take our minds off of everything. I don't know. I've had lots of feelings and thoughts the past two days and can't make anything out of them. Still, if I see him today, I've got to make sure I keep my head on right and ask for a buck next time he comes by, or I'll be out of a job. It won't do for my boss to find out that I'm making eyes at the hunter.
He gave me some game for the girls. They were able to eat a right good meal, and I bought some potatoes own in the market to go with them. Been a while since they had a right and proper dinner, and they were real pleased about it. Basil asked if I could get another few birds for them soon. I might have to take up hunting myself, so I don't have to keep asking Woodston for free game.
We'll just have to see how things go.
