The Day Before

The day has come... It was the 22nd of August, the day before Amanda's 13th birthday... She had quietly slipped out of the Prancing Pony and took a walk through the fields until she reached the graveyard, approaching the headstones of her family, "Moewyn Daisy Cardin, loving daughter, sister and mother" one read, another reading "Joseph Matthew Cardin, a loving and protecting brother and son", the final, larger one read "Amwynn Roseanna Cardin, loving mother, daughter, and sister"

Amanda went over all of the gravestones and wiped the dirt and leaves off of them before finally sitting down in front of her mother's gravestone...

"I hope I did something right with my life, Mama... I hope I've made you proud, I know I've messed up, and I know I've done things that I should never be forgiven for, I've hurt people that I love, even when I never meant to hurt them, I've pushed people I love away, even though I never meant to push them away... I didn't mean to hurt anyone, but I've hurt everyone in my life... So I hope I did something to honor you... All of you..."

She looked over the three graves in the line, blinking a few times to rid the tears from her eyes and wiping at her eyes, "I wish you all were here... I'm turning 13 tomorrow and wish you could be here for it... I barely see any of my friends anymore and I don't know where I'm supposed to look to find them, Mr. Kris disappeared and I can't find him, Ms. Ces doesn't know where he is either..." Amanda shook her head with a sigh, "I hope I didn't mess up again, I hope I didn't make Mr. Kris run away just like everyone else... I've made a promise to myself, I'm going to fix this, I'm going to fix my attitude and how I push everyone away, because it just hurts having everyone leave and never come back..."

Amanda sighed and fell quiet, looking over the gravestones and pulled her legs up to her, wrapping her arms around them and resting her chin on her knees, looking at the names on the gravestones as her eyes filled with tears before she started to cry, "I really hope you guys are proud of me... I hope you can forgive me for everything I've done... Mom I never meant to be like this, I always wanted to be the same me that you knew when you left, but my world kept falling apart and I couldn't be her, I don't know how to be her anymore... But I'm going to try... I'm going to try and find her again, and if I do, I promise I'll do my best to keep her..."