I'm rubbish at filling this in, been doodling far more than writing, suppose it is the best way of expressing myself. They make me smile, little drawings capturing moments, even if they ain't the best, though how I be drawing strawberry tea is beyond me, no, I know, a cup with a strawberry on it. Come to think of it, Old Flo gave me some bits that need painting for the pottery, could try me hand at some strawberries, though not sure how well they'd sell.
Hopefully half the pastries Missus Denton baked made it to Mister Maddoct, Mister Bild were proper taken with them, then again so were the rest of us, but she has promised to make a couple of dozen more. The feast will be nice when Mister Bild gets back, maybe I can put him in shock and have me dress finished by that time. Dresses, Ma were always trying to get me to wear them more, what lasses wear you see, but they ain't practical when working the fields or climbing trees. Cats have it easy. Bailey don't need a dress or anything, has a ribbon around her neck now though, just a red bow with her name on a little tag incase she goes off somewhere. I were half expecting it to be in Master Bilds bag or Master Maddocts, they both made a fuss of her and she likes that. Just think, Master Maddoct and Nurse Bailey, he'll sort out what be wrong with you and she'll snuggle up on your lap like a fluffy, purring bed warming pan.
Pa is doing better, ain't worrying so much now, drinkings got less. Ma is still being a fusspot, but she seems happy helping me learn how to sew this gown, if I'm lucky she'll do most of the work! They're still on at me about going back to the farm, but not as much now, not since they've seen how well I'm doing and the folk who have been caring for me.
I'm going to try going down to the village store tomorrow. Jack said he'd take me and a horse, incase it were a bad idea and I get tired on the way or back. He's trying, though I hear the baby will be born in the spring and he ain't all that fussed, he should be, his Ma is mean with that rolling pin, reckon she'll knock some responsibility into him before then. Anyway, the store! I want to get meself a few things, like, fresh air, me sanity, and a chance to feel the breeze on me skin.
Babies, I don't know. Ma talks about it, says how one day I'll be worried about me own just as she has been with me. Not really thought about them much till recently, I mean, if you think you may die, I suppose you think about everything. It's like, I've had two lads I've had courting me, three if you be counting Elias, and that's it. I aint including Marton, we were both three and holding hands right up till we be five, though me Ma teases that he were me first love. If I carry on getting better, I'm going to take life by both hands, enjoy it and not be wasting time. Wasted too much of it stuck in this house, even if it be a lovely house, it feels like a prison now. All this talk of travelling has got me restless, and Elias were right about some things, I do want to be cuddled, loved and held. Maybe I'll find some exotic warrior type to sweep me off me feet! Alright, that were for the benefit of Alys, who I -know- has been sneaking a look in here! I'll tell your Ma you be snooping!!! I don't know though, for now? I'll just enjoy me strawberry tea Elias sent to me and have a bit of a think. He sent me -strawberry- tea, he's still lovely, I'm worried about him.
