I have been trying to go on as normal in the face of what I now know. It has been difficult to put a smile on for those who know me as well as those who do not. Too many ask if I am well or what is wrong in the moments when my true inner-turmoil shows through and how can I answer that? "A man tried to kill me so I killed him first," is hardly something one would wish to say aloud, especially to complete strangers. Instead I force myself to smile and nod, pretending to all and sundry that my life is just peachy when inside I just want to curl up and cry.
The hound is helping in many respects. He has been my silent shadow since first he found me, ever trotting along a pace behind me or lying across my feet when I sit. His is a comforting presence and when I look into his big brown eyes I see no judgement, only affection and trust. I have named him Arugru - King Shadow - for it seemed fitting.
These past few days I have been working on a dress comissioned by Jairyth for his wife Adaryn. All during my work, Arugru was curled up either beneath my sewing table or off to one side of the room - never far from me, but never getting in the way. I finished it today, though, and gave it to the man later in the eve. Adaryn tried it on, which surprised me for I have never seen her in anything but breeches, and I was pleased to see that it suited her very well.
She looked quite stunning it it, as evidenced by Jairyth standing nearby looking stunned. Unfortunately, it would seem that my memory has been less reliable than I had thought for although I got the length correct, the bodice and sleeves were rather tightly fitting - moreso than I had intended. I shall have to take it back and let the seams out which, whilst being no problem, means that I must put off my start on Flannery's wedding dress for another day or two.
Arugru has recieved mixed reactions at the tavern. He follows me everywhere and whilst a part of me cannot bear to leave the beast behind lest he be fearful or lonely, the rest of me admits that I feel safer and more secure with him at my side. More than a few in the tavern have looked to him nervously, some even running away upon realising his size which is fine by me. Others, though, seem drawn to us, speaking to me through interest in my canine companion.
I think I have met and conversed with more strangers over the past few days than I have ever done in the past - at least without the cheerful exuberance of Blodwynn to spur them on. Taloae and Arkthol seem like pleasant enough fellows whom I have now spoken with on multiple occasions, and even a dwarf by the name of Aegoroth has stopped to share some conversation. It has been very strange, yet Arugru's comforting bulk makes me feel more secure in the face of these unknown entities.
