Some days past, Blodwynn showed me some flowers that had been given to her as a gift from Baradar.
She was very excited and very much pleased by them, asking me what I thought. My response, it seemed, did not thrill her, leaving me with the distinct impression that I had said the wrong thing. I have pondered that since then, but still was unable to work out why my observing that they were very much like flowers might be the incorrect thing to say.
Luckily for me, Arangilas was kind enough to explain it to me. He said that the giving of such a gift is a way to not only express your appreciation for a person, but also to gain recognition for the act you have commited. The gift itself is supposed to make the recipient feel special, thus when the recipient shows her friend the gift, the friend should respond in a positive manner which would heighten the feeling gained by the recipient as well as let the giver know that his was a job well done, thus my observation - whilst being correct in its factual nature - was incorrect for not having promoted either idea.
Put in such a simple manner, I found that I understood the reason behind such a gesture although that then did raise the question of flowers. It would make more sense to give a gift that can be used and kept as opposed to something as frivolous as blooms. Yes, they are pretty but they serve no real purpose when not in their natural habitat.
Arangilas tried explaining how such a gift is a gift from the heart and possesses a lot of symbolism to it in relation to the givers feelings for the recipient. That, however, made little sense to me. Flowers, when plucked from a bush or the earth, quickly wilt and die. Surely, then such a gesture would symbolise how one expects their love to do the same. He then went on to tell me that it is the recollection of the flowers in bloom that matters and not the fact that they soon decayed. This, again, seems very strange to me for if one is truly to find a symbol, should it not be the whole instead of the part that pleases them the most?
The curve of a snakes tooth is pleasing to the eye for its smooth symetry and the delicate way in which it tapers to a sharp point, and yet when taken in relation to the snake itself the picture is a much less pleasing one. However, people look at the snake and not just the tooth; deriving a symbol from the complete creature instead of one small part. Should the same not be done for everything else?
In the end, he gave up trying to explain it from a standpoint of symbolism and instead turned to tradition to aid my understanding. People, he said, do not often spend much time thinking of such things, instead accepting what they have come to mean through time immemorial because it has always been done this way. They do not need to ponder on why it may have started or what other connotations there may be; they just know it as a simple, but heartfelt, ritual.
Personally, I find such a thing to be completely illogical. Why do something for the sake of it having always been done? I see the purpose behind the giving of gifts now and why it would mean so much, but if the gifts themselves make little sense then it renders the ritual somewhat nonsensical as well.
Such things were not the only ones we spoke of, though. As it turns out, he was once wed to Blaecwyn. He told me what had caused her to dislike him so, how he had hurt her deeply via betrayal and how he regretted it now. As he spoke, I could not help but note the similarities between his story and my own situation.
It was very insightful to hear the reasons, thoughts and feelings of one who had comitted such an act; turning his back on all that he had held dear, his own beliefs and the one he loved the most. I questioned the depth of his feelings for her based on what he had done, to which he admitted that he had never truly known what it was he had had until he lost it and that by the time he realised, it was far too late to salvage it.
His story, his candid retelling of a tale that even now seems to haunt his steps, coupled with my own thoughts on the matter, has shed a lot of light on what has occured between Drevorin and I.
I think I understand now.
