Snowbourn
“You little fool” he snapped, shaking himself free from her embrace.
She turned his face towards her, searching the depths of his eyes for the truth, he loved her, he had told her many, many times. The green eyes that looked back at her shone with cowardice and fear, but she was lost within them all the same. He flung the blankets to one side and swung himself around and sat on the side of the bed, head in hands for a moment before rising to his feet and flinging the blankets back over her suddenly nauseous at the sight of her body.
His eyes would not meet hers as he began gathering up his clothes and stepping into them. “Get dressed” he said abruptly.
Silently she slipped out of the bed and began to pick up her scattered clothes and dressed. Once decent she approached him, his back facing her as he peered out of the window. Taala turned him to embrace him, staring again into his eyes hopeful of some benevolence. He wrestled her off and strode over to his bed and straightened the sheets as if nothing had happened.
“What...what of the child?...our child Gerhert?
“Is it mine?” he responded accusingly.
Taala balled her fist, her initial shock now giving rise to anger “There has only been you...for the longest time.”
He regarded her with condescension, then after a time, his face softened “You will go to your mother Taala, you will tell her that you pursued me...relentlessly, despite my protests, and that you did this to spite your sister because you are jealous of her, jealous that she is my betrothed”.
“But...I...I'm not...” he silenced her with a kiss and held her tightly against him.
“Taala, my...love, you must do this for me...for us, I have my honour to think of, my position, my good name, if you do not convince your mother, that it was all your own doing, I will be exiled from Snowbourn, would you wish for that, we would never see one another again?” he looked at her agitation in his eyes.
“What purpose would that serve?” Taala asked unsure.
“It will allow us some time to think, to make plans...to leave Snowbourn and be together for always” he stroked her face gently then drew her close to him. “You want us to be together don't you Taala?”
Taala closed her eyes and smiled as she nodded savouring his embrace, beginning to relax again, he did love her, he was shocked that's all, the news of the baby...of course he was shocked.
“You must convince her you planned this Taala...no matter what is said or done, you must be unrelenting, you must be strong, for us...you know I will come for you, even if they send you forth from this place, I will find you.” She nodded not entirely convinced, but she was a fool in love.
He wrapped her cloak about her and ushered her quickly and quite forcefully to the door “The others will be back soon Taala, make haste, are you quite clear on what must be done”.
“Do not worry Gerhert, my family already think the worst of me, it will not take much convincing them that I beguiled you”.
“And so you did” he smiled ushering her down the stairs and pushing her out of the door.
Snowbourn, four days later.
“Mother, may I speak with you?” Taala asked hesitantly.
“I am busy Taala, what is it...I have your sister's wedding preparations to finish, be quick child”.
“That is just it Mother, there can not be a wedding” Taala forced the stammer from her voice.
Esther frowned “What are you talking about Taala? What madness have you brought before me this time? You are in your fifteenth year, and we are no further forward finding you a suitor, your sister is to be wed in eleven days from now, and there is much interest in the twins...” Esther paused, regarding her daughter, a bastard unbeknown to herself, stood before her dressed like a boy, her voice almost a sigh “And I fear we never will find a man willing to take you off our hands...”
“But that is what I am trying to tell you Mother, Gerhert is to be my husband, we love one another”.
Esther did not know whether to laugh or have her whipped, instead she stood blinking in disbelief. “Gerhert, is to marry your sister! A man such as he would not consider a girl such as you Taala” she mocked, “do not think your sullied reputation has not gotten back to me, if your father knew, it would...”
“I am carrying his child” Taala interrupted, her hands subconsciously moving to rest on her stomach.
She was not expecting the sharp sting of a slap in response, her hand immediately covered the red burning mark on her cheek, her eyes fixed on her mother in defiance.
“Do not DARE say such things, you wicked, wicked girl, leave my sight, I can no longer stand to look upon you, speak more of these lies and I shall have your tongue removed”.
“It's true mother, every word of it”
Esther regarded her daughter with a mix of disbelief and contempt for what seemed an age.
“Who else knows...about this child in your belly?” she hissed.
“Only Gerhert,” Taala answered quietly.
“What...what...why, why would Gerhert lie with you? Your father will kill him for this, he has shamed himself, how will we spare both families of the shame?” Esther's voice hardened “Your father will kill him” she repeated once more with more affirmation.
“No, mother, no...” Taala protested quickly. “This is all my doing, I beguiled him, he protested his love for my sister, but I was unrelenting in my quest to have him for myself, I made him fall for me, I wanted him, I wanted to break my sisters heart for all the times she has been cruel to me... I”.
Esther raised her hand to silence her “Enough!” she chastised her daughter “Yes...yes of course you did, you have a wicked streak in you, you cannot stand to see anyone else happy”. She fixed Taala in her gaze “You must not speak of this to anyone...do you hear me? Anyone!”. Taala nodded weakly in agreement, alarmed at how readily her mother believed her to be at fault, but at the same time relieved she had protected Gerhert.
***
Taala was locked in her room for many weeks thereafter. Her absence from her sisters wedding was explained away as sickness. During those weeks she tormented herself with hope and soon that hope turned to despair and then to humiliation, and her heart was truly hardened.
Her sister would never learn of this, not because Taala cared for her or her family's good name, or Gerhert. Nay, it was easier to tell it the way she had been told to, far rather she be branded wicked, than a fool. After all, lies oft become the truth if told often enough.
Taala was done with the silly business known as love, “when your lover is a liar, you and he have a lot in common, you're both lying to you!” she whispered into the darkness. Never again would she give her all to a man, from now on, things would be on her terms.
“Of all the cruel lies they tell you, the cruelest is the one called love.”
