After the Darkest Night



Uilossiel rushed into her room, a giddy smile on her face. Twirling in front of her mirror, she fell onto her bed and buried her face in her pillows before letting out a joyous scream. Footsteps sounded outside in the corridor as her mother opened the door, clad in a dressing gown and slippers.

“Why, Uilossiel, it is late in the evening. Try to remember that some of us are resting, for the sake of decency,” Tinuilos admonished sleepily.

Cheeks flushing, Uilossiel nodded. “Yes, Naneth. Good-night.”

Quickly shutting the door behind her mother, Uilossiel flopped down on her bed again, staring at the tiled ceiling of her room. Somehow, the silver and blue stones seemed to glimmer more brightly in the moonlight than ever. Folding her hands behind her head, she smiled up at the ceiling, repeating two names to herself softly. Nuldafairë. Tancamir. They had returned to her, one a dear friend, the other her own brother, when she had thought all hope was lost.

Her hands, roughened from a long day outdoors, snagged on her hair as she shifted on the bed and pondered the events of the past day. She had gone out to the Moor at dawn to pick herbs with her sister Tinwen, who insisted that she spent too much time altogether indoors. After the evening meal, she had washed all traces of the day’s dirt and grasses out of her face, and had decided to take a stroll towards the House of Elrond.

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She spotted Dolthafaer standing on a bridge near the entranceway of the house. It was a shock, but a good one, to see him there, as if he had never left the valley. Eagerly, but not too hastily, she made her way over to the bridge, waving a hand in greeting.

“I had word of your company’s return, but it is much different seeing you in person.” She saw him turn, as he registered her words, and to her delight a smile spread across his face.

"Uilossiel! I hoped - well, I thought I would see you in the Hall of Fire today." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

 "I had hoped as well, when I heard news of your return, but my sister dragged me off to the Moor today. We were picking herbs and things," she replied with chagrin. Why was she always absent for the most important happenings? She cast an apologetic smile at Dolthafaer. "In truth, I knew of your return, but I did not know it was today, until now."

Dolthafaer  shrugged, but the smile did not leave his face. "I am glad to see you now." A surge of warmth enveloped her at his words. So, he has missed me at least a little, she mused. Eyes bright, she replied,

"I am so happy you are returned safely, and the rest of the company as well." Considering for a moment, she remembered his other comrades who had arrived a few weeks earlier.  "I believe Sargiel and Limiriel arrived ahead of you. They are well, I have heard." He seemed  surprised for a moment, then broke into a bigger smile.

"They have? I did not - I have not had time to ask. I thought..." Face darkening, he muttered, "It was a dangerous road. I did not know what to think."

 "But in the end, you are here safely, and that is all that matters. Well, of course I mean that all of you are here safely, and ..." She wished fervently that she were ensconced safely in her study rather than mixing up her words like a maid of fifty summers. "Pardon me, that's not - I didn't mean..." She cast her eyes downwards, mortified that she was making a fool of herself.

Dolthafaer watched her with sharp eyes, carefully taking in her flustered speech, and after a moment took a deliberate step forward.

"I wrote to you, " he stated, in a voice serious and yet warm. Uilossiel felt a sudden urge to pinch herself. Was she dreaming, or had he really said that?

"You did?"

Casting his gaze past her to the peaks in the north, Dolthafaer remained silent, a distant expression on his face. Uilossiel looked around uneasily, a faint blush colouring her cheeks. "I received no letter..." she murmured.

"I never sent it. There was a point, Uilossiel, when I thought - nay, I knew that I would never leave that black land. I have no family on these shores, no friends but those at my side. It was you my thoughts turned to in that hour." He hesitated, returning his gaze to Uilossiel, and broke into a small smile. "I have thought of you often, in truth, since I left."

His words took her by surprise. She smiled weakly and drew a deep breath before replying,

"I have often done the same, Dolthafaer, in the past days. There were days that I felt you would not come back, and then... there were days I hoped against hope for your return." Dolthafaer  seemed to consider her words for a moment, his smile growing slowly.

"You have been a bright light in a dim life, my lady. I would have gone to my death without fear or regret - save only that I would have seen you no more. I hoped for it, and so I kept my letter. And now here I am." For a moment, Uilossiel thought she saw something akin to affection in his eyes, and it gave her boldness to speak.

"I sang for you - that ballad, you remember, the one I used to sing for my brother." Resolving not to let her inept ways with people get the better of her, she managed to gaze steadily at him without flinching. He held her gaze for a moment, but finally looked  down, a smile and a flush colouring his face.

"I remember. You... do not know me well, Uilossiel, nor I you. But already you have helped to bring me out of the darkness of Angmar. I hope, one day, that I might have the chance to so move you."

Blinking twice, she searched Dolthafaer's eyes for any trace of jest, but found none. Her heart hammered as she weighed his words in her mind, grasping at the right words to say next. All coherent thought seemed to have left her, so she said the first thing which came to mind.

"To move me to what, my lord?'

Wincing slightly at how inane she must have sounded, she glanced anxiously at Dolthafaer. To her relief, he gave a soft chuckle, but then took one final step forward and raised a hand to lightly touch her hair. Blood roared in her ears and she had to take deep breaths in order to keep her head from spinning. Surely she was dreaming, and would awake in an instant to find that she had been imagining this all along. Dolthafaer seemed not to notice her unease, but smiled down at her.

"Well... give me time, and I will think of something," he replied.

She could do nothing but blush and stammer, "I ... that would be acceptable, yes."

In the beat of silence that followed, she let out the breath she had been unconsciously holding. She rested one hand on the marble balustrade. It was icy cold to the touch, and more solid than anything she could have dreamed. 

"You may call me Limmairë, then. That is my mother-name, of sorts, though my father chose it. It is rather an involved story." She peered up at him, giving his hand a slight nudge from where it rested on her forehead. Dolthafaer laughed under his breath and dropped his hand, blushing and a little flustered.  So, he is as new to this as I am, she mused. At least my blundering about does not seem so stupid then.

"Then I hope to hear it one day! You may call me Nuldafairë, if you will," he replied. "Not so involved; I was named in my parents' native tongue."

Nuldafairë. She turned the Quenya name over and over in her mind, the very sound of it like music. Dolthafaer seemed to be thinking of something, for his face sobered, and he hesitated a moment before speaking.

"Limmairë - forgive me. I was so caught up in seeing you, I forgot... there is something I should tell you." With an inward thrill at hearing him say her mother-name, she nodded for him to continue. "This will not be easy to hear. We... met another elf in the heart of Angmar. A scout, of some great skill. He helped guide us through that land, and he has returned with us to Imladris. He called himself Cúrandir, but..."

He let his voice trail off, pushing back his sleeve to show her the bracelet around his wrist, carefully watching her expression. It was the silver bracelet she had given him before the Tourney, and seeing that he had brought it with him to Angmar caused something to tighten in her chest. 

"He wears a bracelet much like this one; gold, with a green stone, given to him by his father. Your brother lives, Limmairë," he said in a low voice. Head reeling, she leaned heavily against the balustrade. What more surprises did this night have in store? She covertly pinched her right arm, the sharp twinge confirming that she was indeed not dreaming.

"Yes, it must be he. He bears the twin of my bracelet, and there is no one else who would know of it. But I - I do not know what to say ... Can such happiness as mine be possible?"  Blinking back the tears that threatened to fall, she saw Dolthafaer smile at her.

"I told you I would find him one day, did I not?" he said. "He might have found me, but - well. He is here in the Valley - resting from the journey, no doubt, and screwing up his nerve to seek out you and the rest of your family. I will let him tell his own story, but I could not hide it from you fully."

Uilossiel nodded, giving a shaky laugh.

"Tyelko, that old rogue. He will be in such a heap of trouble - but we all miss him so much." She managed a grin in spite of her tears. Dolthafaer chuckled at her, and suddenly the solemn mood of the moment evaporated.

"Do not be too harsh with him, if you will. I have plans to turn him into a proper archer of Vanimar; he will need the use of both his hands." He winked at her, and she grinned, all past awkwardness forgotten.

Above them, the stars and moon seemed to glow with unusual brilliance. Uilossiel breathed a long sigh. "I am never going to forget this night, Nuldafairë. The night you have returned to me from Angmar at long last, and my brother as well, whom I had thought lost beyond all hope."

Dolthafaer broke into that crooked smile which she found so charming, also casting his gaze out over the stars. He began to speak slowly.

"I never thought of Imladris as my home, you know. At first it was Lindon, and after the Last Alliance... nowhere. But now... I think I am ready to name it such." She smiled up at him.

"I hope it shall be home to you; at any rate, I will do what I can to make it more so."

And so, after a few more words she had left him standing on the bridge under a starlit sky. As she had walked home, half delirious with joy, she had glanced back every so often to see him silhouetted against the white marble of the bridge, standing tall and noble. As soon as his figure disappeared from sight, she had run all the way home.

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Now here she was, lying on her bed, watching the silver and blue tiles of her ceiling swirl like constellations in a dreamlike sky.  Her heart swelled with a feeling that she could not place, and she grinned up at the tiled ceiling. I feel as if I could climb a mountain, or run for hours and hours without tiring, or sing for days on end. Hope has not failed me, and those I love are alive and well. Truly it is as the poets say - after the darkest night comes the brightest dawn.