I have never lost my temper like this... Not for a long time at least. We were trying to sort out the fate of the child... When I say we, I mean me and Mayrin. Damn that woman... I messed up is merely an understatement... If I could take back what I have done, I would have. Hells, I'd even become a slave again to take that back. I'd walk to Mordor even... Anything.
We were trying to organize the poor child's fate... It should not face the penalties of my actions, nor should it be left by it's parents. I want to be there at least. I know all too well the pain of being abandoned by your parent. Never would I curse that fate on anybody. I would raise the child to be better than me... Better than anything else. I have already failed as a parent... Estel... May the gods bless him.
I regret not being there for him. I regret not teaching him what is right. I regret not being stern enough and keeping him from the Ripper. I regret not protecting him. It is my fault he is dead and no one could convince me otherwise.
Anyways, the conversation began to get heated. There was some annoying man who had no idea what was going on, yet he kept interjecting as if it concerned him. Should have smacked him... Annsuel came in too... She was a little liess annoying and supported me. For that I thank her. She is a good friend of mine and I owe her so much.
Mayrin kept saying she wanted to kill the unborn child. I would have none of that. I almost drew a dagger to threaten that witch... Almost. I was sane enough to resist and hold back my temper till I at least left the Inn. After I finished my business with May, then with Ann, I left. I purchased three weeks of dried rations from Barli and a few bottles of mead. I packed up my new lynx pelt cloak and rode. Whre I was going? I wasn't quite sure.
I rode across the Greenway and went North. The air got colder and colder. The trees have turned from the broadleafs I am so familiar with to odd looking trees with rough bark and what appears to be needles covering them. I have stumbled upon several Ranger encampments... I am blessed that I decided to study Sindarin. When I spoke the language of the Elves to them, they were a little less hostile... And I mean only a little!
I huddle by the fire tonight writing... Though my hands are numb from the cold. I wrap myself in furs. The Rangers have taught me to shoot a bow and I have hunted some of the furs I wear myself. They asked me where I was headed... I simply said I was going North. They laughed and said I should not go further lest I wished to freeze to death. I figure it could not get much colder than this so I shall proceed more.
A fleeting thought just hit me. I only told one person I was leaving. Bergvarr. I wrote him a note that said, "Went North." I feel like this will be another regret... My impulsive behavior.
