"I cannot say that I am not afraid" Said Redwick as a breeze came up from behind himself, "For in truth I am utterly terrified, so much have I gained in the past year; aught more valuable than all the gems and gold in Middle-earth. But now I fear to lose it."
He sat upon a rocky shelf that crept forth from a hill and gazed towards Snowbourn in the distance, the old tower stood high and tall upon the Horizon. It was midday and the sun was high in the cloudless sky for a winter. A cool breeze was in the air and the plains that open wide before himself was covered in snow. "I would that I had never fallen, I would that I had never found myself in Bree." He said to himself as began to feel sad, there at his side lied an open cloth of crumbs from a lunch that he had eaten. Goldwine was digging into nearby snow in search for grass that he could graze on. "It is difficult to love when receive doubt in-turn for it, when you are ever reminded of when you had wronged those whom you loved. A thought that gnaws at your mind, a though that shall never leave and ever remain as a memory as time molds the lives of men. It is unlike an injury of flesh, yet whenever I think of it or I am reminded of it- it hurts me in such a way that I shall feel greater regret for what I had done. That fateful mistake that I wish I had never made, was it truly that wrong of me to do so? Of course it was. There is no greater betrayal than abandoning those whom you love. It is treachery at in its cruelest form." He ranted to himself for several hours, knowing not whether he was sad or angry- or merely both. For he was angry at himself for what he had done, and yet sad that he felt he shall ever be reminded of it.
"Is it such a wrong thing to love when it feels so fair and beautiful? I doubt it, it cannot be so. I know what it is to love and now it suddenly feels more difficult than it ever had. Perhaps I should give up?" He blinked and raised his knees, wrapping his arms around his legs to hold them against his body, "Nay. If I had given up now then I would never be at peace with myself. I promised that I should be at her side if ever need called and instead now I sit here, dwelling in my own self-pity, unknowing if she had need of me now." He bit his lower lip tightly as he gazed intently at the town that lay before himself, "But... I fear to face her. I know not the words to say and I know not how to make her understand. I cannot return to merely find myself hurt once more, I do not wish to be treated so. Especially not by her- and yet I love her. I cannot turn my back on her." And with those words he rested his head against his legs, falling silent and thinking of the matter. He sought long for the needed clarity and as each second passed he felt as though he would let her down more and more, yet he could not face her when he did not know what words to say to her; how to bring her to understand the way that he felt. Many of us know that merely explaining such matters to a lover is not as simple as it may seem, for he Redwick was terrified that all hung upon a fine thread and that one mistake would snap the thread and send its burden smack into the ground!
He spent many hours upon the shelf before he had surrendered, he thought that he would never have found answers that he sought for, thus he climbed back unto Goldwine's saddle and began to ride to Snowbourn ere the sun had faded and the sky went dark. Yet it was upon his riding home that something stirred within him, aught that he oft had but was now at rest: It was his determination. He knew what he wished for, and he knew that he shall not stop until his will has been all but shattered and his hope of succeeding was reduced to the shards of his hope. Forth he rode with sudden pride and determination in his face, spurring on the steed to move as swift as it could.
The sky was already dark when he had returned to Snowbourn and he immediately sought for Therwen.
