Diary of Fallidir: The pain of forgetting - entry four

~Dated only as December It has been a couple of days since I wrote in here last, and a lot of things have happened to me in this time. I have managed to get to my feet finally, however with the aid of a stick to support most of my weight, I am still not sure why this paralysis has come to pass upon my legs, but all I can think is that it has to do with the plant I was taking for my headaches. But again I am unsure what has transpired. I also remain weary at all times at the moment, and to stay awake is almost a strain. But I do feel stronger finally. The headaches are all but gone, and not much more than a pain in the background of my mind. It comes and goes now though and sometimes I do have feelings of clarity but these are rare and usually quite short periods of time. But they are nice to have all the same, even if the relief be as short as a couple of minutes. I come again to the problem with the visions, or the dreams from before of all the death and rotting of the ones I love. I am thankful now that the actual physical feeling I got from these visions has disapated, at least I have not vommited because of it. But it is still horrifying, with more and more faces I recognise being added to the toll of the dead. The last one I saw was of an elf dear to my heart, it even brought me to tears. Night comes again, and I must endure it once more. But with every morning my health seemingly improves... but the nightmares are getting worse, as something like some kind of... test, of my will or something. So I must endure or be broken utterly.