Page Fifty Five

Dear diary, I can explain to you why I havn't written, I'm sure you know that well.

My days of hurt, settling and  marrying a woman I love was a great Idea, but I learnt a lesson, never to settle down and always go on with other things.

Ever since I met Jane the first time all I was thinking about is love, passion and affection, It was the first time I experince that, never thought it would be anything like this, since that time it has done alot of things and I can give a list of it.

It made me happy as she shares the same feelings

It made me unleash how I really care and take responsibility in treating women, as I never have touched one with such thoughts.

It made me only see two ways and one was is to make sure she's happy and the other was to make sure i'm safe so I can make her happy... in a way it is only one.

It has ruined me, as I for the first time, felt how it is to be broken.

It has mended my heart, by special person.

It  has made me love that special person.

It has made me marry, twice now

It has made me know the sour of devorce, even in devorce there is love, for I have done it because I loved that special person a love that is not as strong as the real, but make it a good experince and something I will never flip, as some people say, I had a thing with that person in the past so I hold it to show I',m not the kind that forget what once made me happy

I have decided to make changes because of my experince, I was going to make those changs even before the devorce but fate seem to want me the way I'm now and I do not complain for it gave me back my old love, my real love, my first kiss, my first affection and the first always the best, because it teaches you alot.

I'm no longer going to depend on settleing, I'm going to work hard everyday and comeback to my sweetheart, to my wife, with a happy face, and tell her how much I missed her, tell her how I longed to come home just to at least see her face smiling toward me even if we did not do anything else.

I'm in control now of everything and even my heart, I know when to stop, I know when to start, I know whats hurt and I know whats makes person happy, after months of analying my situaiton it is time for a change, not the kind of change that changes me whole but the kind that improve it for my wife, Jane, I love you so much and this change is for you.