The passing days are increasingly strange. I try not to see the cracks in the world. I try to convince myself that they do not exist, but I cannot escape the feeling of being slowly stretched ever more thin and pulled toward them, like I am slipping away at an imperceptible rate. The pressure builds until it seems that I must surely be crushed beneath the weight, yet still I continue on my path; seeking a way out of this mess.
Davick has returned to me, apologising for his behaviour and the way in which he has treated me over the years. I cannot begin to hazard a guess at this sudden change of heart; I am too distracted to make head or tail of it. Perhaps he missed me or has developed a conscience. Perhaps he senses danger and seeks it out. Perhaps it is the influence of Tillie. That would be unsurprising, for it has seemed to me for a long time that he speaks with her voice and not his own.
Is that the source of my coldness toward him? My perception of him no longer as a man alone, but an extension of the desires and demands of his future wife? It is disconcerting and highly distressing to find myself second-guessing his meaning and motives when we speak. I am wary of them both and that in itself creates a distance that was once unnecessary.
Meanwhile my search for the book continues. Recalling what Esfin said of Craign, I sought him out for information. I learned from him that conflicting rumours abound of a man named Seraile being in possession of this tome or that the leader of the Legion, Kelinor has it.
Against my better judgement, I travelled with Craign to the hall of the Legion. Upon our arrival it was deserted and so he sought entry in the hopes of taking the book if it lay there. Unfortunately, Kelinor arrived shortly after we did and whilst we hid away, a woman I later learned to be called Kazy appeared also. Craign sought to distract them from my presence, which worked until he and I tried to take our leave. Unfortunately, both Kelinor and Kazy became aware of me. We were allowed to leave without incident, however I cannot help but think that our ill-advised forray has brought me even further to the attention of these despicable people.
To make matters worse, I sought out Seraile. As I was setting up a meeting with him for later in the day, Kazy came across us. Twice now she has seen me in the company of the Legion's enemies. This does not bode well. Still, the man himself was as helpful as he could be. He does not have the book, but he has agreed to let me read it should it come into his possession. He also offered to have a few of the men at his disposal keep a watch over me for protection. I declined. To allow such a thing would show fear and that I will not do. Let the Legion think I am alone and unprotected, just like their insane master did.
Thankfuly, Craign and Seraile are not the only ones I am able to call upon for aid in this search. The feathered buffon claimed to be an elf, thus it is logical to suspect that something of his wordks may have survived in elven lands. To that end, I have enlisted the aid of Arangilas, a man who holds deep friendship with many of the immortals. He and some of his friends now search the eastern lands for me. Surely, then, it is only a matter of time before I am able to look upon the words of the madman and use them to my advantage?
I must remain hopeful... or at least try to convince myself that I am.
