The burden of leadership continues to weigh on me, and it's only here in these pages that I feel safe to voice my misgivings and self-doubt. I know it's my part in this to put on a brave face and air of confidence but I often wish Lady Strelarien had been entrusted with this task. Rather than stay in the Pony I had my tent put up amongst the men and as I walk amongst the ranks they look to me for strength. I don't even recognize most of their faces and if they only knew how young I was I think I might be driven out in short order.
This web of intrigue surrounding us seems to be drawing tighter - the Captain has been sold to a woman here in Bree and Strelarien and I suspect it may have something to do with this 'Order of the Black Hand' we've been investigating but something tells me it's not, which makes it all the more disturbing. To think that two conspiracies are at play here does little to help me sleep at night. We can't simply beat down doors and interrogate everyone as much as I may want to when my humours become unbalanced and instead we must endeavor to win the hearts and minds of the common folk.
I had to sit for a moment and stare at that - it's another source of disquiet to me. I've been referred to as 'Lady' and 'Captain' so often now I think it's beginning to go unnoticed despite my protests to the contrary. I hate to think of myself as someone who *isn't* with 'the common folk' because if i'm not than what am I? Certainly not any kind of nobility or akin to the elder races.
Regardless, I believe I have settled on my plans - the Dúnedain still have a presence here in the North, they couldn't have left it completely unguarded when The Grey Company was summoned to King Elessar's side. While our more furtive agents move about Bree-town I will consult with whomever safeguards Bree and see how we might marshal our efforts to foster good spirits and welcome amongst the people to see if we can unmask these conspirators.
