Moria. How I dread the dungeons and the darkness eternal; to become lost and never see the stars again, forever entangled in the shadows’ grasp. Twice in a very short time we had to brave the darkness within to find the light on the other side, but this time I had a dream. A dream full of terror and fear.
I’m sitting on the edge of an abysmal depth; my armour is broken and my sword is lost, though that is not what concerns me – I hear screams echoing in the cave, the screams of a woman, one whom I love dearly. I hear her crying and shouting my name over and over again as the creatures torment her; until her screams finally falls silent, and I can do nothing – for between me and her stands an army of dark beings, ready to tear me apart. But they do not attack, for they know that I am no threat to them, and they enjoy watching me there; sitting on the edge, with tears falling to the ground and my body torn and bleeding. I am broken, spent, and there is but one way for me to go – down.
With the final ounce of strength that I still carry in my legs, I rise from the ground with great difficulty. My right arm feels heavy and I cannot lift it anymore. It is more or less ripped to shreds and my blood is dripping all over the ground and drowning my feet. My head is spinning like a whirlwind in the mountains, thoughts are swarming like a thousand ants biting and feeding on my brain; and then my legs give up and I cannot stand upright any longer. As my limbs collapse, I seek to find the edge, the last place that I will ever lay my left hand on; and I pull myself over the edge. For a fraction of a second I regret my decision as the darkness below gazes back at me and transforms into a massive gap filled with black teeth much larger then myself. The sight is horrible beyond comprehending, even though I know in my mind that there is only darkness and nothing more. But the shadows wishes to feed, and tonight, I am to be it’s dinner. The army of beasts are screaming and shouting as if they were cheering, and they slam their swords onto their shields and it sounds like the drums of death itself. A heavy foot clad in rusted metal shoes suddenly strikes my back, and the edge disappears under me and the great fall begins. I can only pray that Mandos has given her a place to be; where she can live on with peace in her heart, happily unaware of what transpired in these caves.
When the darkness is complete; when it has crushed me completely and destroyed what little pieces of me that still remained, I wake up with a gasp. My breathing is heavy and my heart is beating as hard as a sword that slams onto a shield; shadows are still looming over me, shrouding the stars above and obscuring my vision. When my sight returns to normal, which seems like a lifetime, I seek her around me; and there she lies as always, enthralled in her own world of dreams, safely tucked in under her warm, heavy green cloak. While trying to calm myself down, I lie down as close to her as possible, letting my arm rest over her body and then pulling her closer. She lets out the most satisfied little groan as she turns around and puts her arm over me in return. And there we lie entangled in each others arms; she who knows nothing of my dream and still sleeps like there was no tomorrow, and me, who can but hope that it was just a dream, and nothing more.
The next morrow we are about to take the first steps into the dark. For today we will leave my beloved Lórien behind again, to heed the summons of Bar-en-Vanimar, the house to which my love has sworn the oath. Where she goes, I will follow. The dream is still lingering in my memory when a group of crows take flight from the last tree we can see and they hover high over our heads, as if the beasts were just waiting for the dream to come true right there and now, but I say nothing of it. Several days later, we reach the light again. The journey went just as expected without incident, thanks to the many new trading posts of the dwarves, and we will soon find ourselves back in Imladris, the final point of this journey. As we travel on our horses through the old, crumbled lands of Eregion, I watch her ride again; smiling and laughing as if she never had any troubles in her whole life. I sigh relieved, knowing that it had been just a dream and nothing more; and then I untie the knot that holds my hair together, and let each strand of hair flow freely in the wind for the rest of the journey. For that is the ultimate freedom, to ride without fears, regrets and sorrow; to just ride together with the one you love, with the wind catching and playing with your hair, as if there was no tomorrow and no end to the day. It is the kind of freedom I have rarely experienced, and each time, it has been in her company alone.
Some days after our return to Imladris, I have almost forgotten about that horrible dream. Even though I cannot feel the same love for Imladris as for Lórien, the land of my heart, it is still peaceful and quiet here. And her presence makes everything so bright, so uncomplicated; as if she brought the light with her wherever she went. And when she comes to me, smiling and with a rather teasing look on her face, she shows me her necklace, upon which the ring I gave her is resting. But it is different today, for I see another ring resting beside the one I gave to her, and it is the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. She takes it out and shows it to me, claiming she found it by the forges, where a master jeweler just had completed it. The ring is made of purest silver, and upon it’s surface are extremely detailed designs that reminds me of the ever flowing waves of the sea; and when I look closely, the waves spells out the word “Peace”, with each letter made to meld into the very waves themselves. I cannot be other then stunned by it’s astonishing beauty, and for her incredible luck to find such a marvelous piece of art; and with the brightest smile on my face and the lightest heart I’ve ever felt inside me, we exchange our rings there, in Imladris – almost fulfilling the promise for our future together, and only one stage remains to make it last forever.
And if this would be just a dream and nothing more; I would gladly sleep and dream forever, until the very end of time itself.
