It seems to me that ever since Captain Belenir has placed his faith in me things have gone amiss. Even now he may languish in captivity amongst the goblins and Dourhands that infest Minas Eriol and I find myself paralyzed by indecision - I know I should lead the company forth in force to find him, but I am terrified by the prospect of losing another as we have already lost him. I record my thoughts here only as a way of trying to straighten my thinking now that the burden of leadership has fallen on my shoulders - ironically enough as my father, and Calenglad, told me it might during my youth and upbringing amongst the rangers who watched over Annúminas
I recall the time when Calenglad and the majority of our strength departed to join the Grey Company. I had wished to join him and they had told me I was too young. I wish now that the same were true. Regardless, I know what must be done. Our dwarven allies wished to rush in immediately, and luckily I was able to delay their fury even as my heart cried for the same retribution, but I cannot risk the loss of anymore life while it remains in my charge and instead I have dispatched riders to marshal what additional strength we may before returning to that ghostly ruin. The only solace I take is that our initial assault tossed our foes into disarray and upon our return we might cast them back into their fading shadow in short order.
It is still uncomfortable for me, I must confess, to take charge here. I've never even seen the shining Tower of the Guard and here I am entrusted with doing its will in King Elessar's name. My only hope is that I might prove worthy of both it and the legacy of the Kingdom of Arnor that my father raised me on. I would find a place to hide and cry, thinking of the city Captain Belenir is leading us to - the very city in who's shadow I was trained in - were it not for my duty to the men and women I owe my position to. I will not fail them.
