"Hush little baby don't you cry, I will love you until the day I die." These are the words I would sing, to Salin. If I had a voice that could be heard. Perhaps a few more words than that, but I don't like too many words. And my words do not have a voice. Words bring trouble and they hurt, more than a thousand lashings. I brought the supplies again, milk, a stitched blanket for her to sleep on. Because the boarding house is supposedly lacking in them. But Negath had Salin, wrapped in the blanket that I made, specifically for my child. My child. Not hers. I do not know where this rivalry came from. I saw her as a mother figure and now the moment we are outside of our lands. She turns on me. It isn't fair. But much of life is not and I cannot afford to be naive, like I was once before.
Choices, there are so many to be made before me, I cannot say that I want to return to Dunland, but at home. The way we did things, it was black and white. Either you were worthy of being honored or you were not. The weak above the strong. Command and conquer. Here the people speak with many words and they expect words in return. A smile, a laugh, a single touch of greeting. I wish there was someone to hold me. But I will not lose my resolve. I will not give him the satisfaction, wherever he is, I know he cannot be far. Ours is a twisted romance. One that started without my permission. I wish to claw both their eyes out, but it is not that simple. Nothing about my life is simple.
