There are a lot of things you take notice of in the Pony when you spend as much time there as I do, sitting by myself or simply standing at the counter as I drink my tea. The things that people let slip to their friends when they are directly beside you, or the way they think they are so subtle about excluding people they dislike from a conversation. I've also come to learn far too much about some of the relationships and friendships about strangers I do not know.
What I have learned, with first hand experience, is how it feels when you are clear about your intentions, and someone takes it far too personally. If you do not tell a man that you're seeing someone and want to make sure you only stay friends, he will accuse you of leading him on and will probably call you some derogatory name, as if you were ever anything more than just friends the entire time. If you do tell a man that you only wish to be friends, before anything romantic has ever happened between you, he will accuse you of accusing him of having some kind of romantic feelings, getting far too defensive than I am comfortable with. The latter is something I am now acquainted with.
When I started seeing Bersvir in a more personal relationship, I was sure to mention to a friend that I did not and had never sought out any sort of relationship with him, because being honest and upfront is incredibly important to me. When a man continuously asks you on walks and to leave a bustling, public Inn to be alone with him, it is only fair to assume that you need to place a clear boundary. Well, I suppose, it was only fair to me, because I've never seen a man get so offended and defensive so quickly.
Similarly, the new farmhand that Bers hired did not end up working out, simply because she discovered that I was around. I find all of these things terribly confusing and something of a hindrance. I wish to drink my tea and make new friends and watch interesting drama unfold in the Inn, not be wrapped up in too many emotions that do not even belong to me.
I did meet a girl named Marsely, who seemed quite pleasant and nice, but I have only seen her once in passing since that time, and I am not sure of how she is faring now. Bers said he's hired more farmhands, and the farm in question seems to be coming along very nicely, though farm life could not interest me any less than it already does. I think he wishes that I would stay closer, but I love my small little cottage, and I believe it important to have a space that is entirely my own. I've brought a ton of things into the kitchen at his farm, though, including a huge bag of rice that I was able to buy off of a merchant from Harad.
There are other things I've left around his home accidentally, and then never bothered to pack it and bring it back. Before long, I'm sure he'll just start to consider me as living there.
