Penned in the House of Dolenor,
In the Realm of Dorwinion.

The Elves say that the spirit of Ullubōz Ulmo runs in all the veins of the world -- all seas, lakes, rivers, fountains and springs -- and he speaks to those who dwell in Middle-earth with many voices that are heard only as the music of water. I know not if I have the hearing to hearken to his voice, yet the joyful song of Dolenor's small waterfall nonetheless brought peace to my broken mind, and comfort to my weary heart, despite the daunting words of the gollor some two days ago; days in which he has been trying to instruct me in the arts of sanwë-latya and ósanwë.

But alas, his efforts have been in vain: for though I am accustomed to putting my mind into the state of látie he calls for (that same state in which I easily communicate with my forest friends), and my will has strength enough he says, it seems my thought cannot penetrate the hröa of a mirroanwë.
   "I deem that thy time of thraldom and torment in the deep dungeons of the Enemy has made the barrier of thine Unwill so absolute," said Dolenor, "That thy projected thought cannot pass through the veil of thine own physical form; for though the closing of an Incarnate's mind commonly requires an act of conscious will, thy mind hast retreated totally into deepest privacy by its own accord!"
'Aquapahtie' he named it in Quenya, and it signifies not merely 'privacy', but complete full-closedness.
   "In seeking to become closed against the trespass of the evil mind that sought to invade it, I deem that in its anguish, thy mind wrought such a state of unwill that it closed inwardly upon itself, and thus upon thyself; for it was not merely the domination by another mind that it would resist, but such dark sorcery that has its foundation in the Shadow of the Darkness."
   "B-but Lord Iavasdir..." I stammered.
   "Verily," the gollor interrupted, reading my thought with a bold smile and keen eyes, "He found no taint of the Ancient Darkness upon thee, as it does upon thy Secondborn kin since the Elder Days; but this is not of what I speak, although I also find thee to be curiously unstained. But I will say no more concerning the Shadow, though the Sun is shining brightly in her fullness upon this frosty glade. I will say this only: long is the passage that thy doom has born thee, and I rede that vast is the span that lies betwixt thee and thy true abode; but I forbode that thou shalt never return thither, for though I perceive also thy destined purpose in Middle-earth is now complete, or so I sense the tide upon which thou is now adrift and wavering shall yet bring thee unto places and deeds un-looked for, but is the path that Eru hast planned for thee. For from the dark depths of despair oft springs forth the singing fountain that glimmers in the light of the Sun!"

Such is the wanton insight of Dolenor, though I spared little thought for the riddles that he spake. For my thoughts were wondering how it is that he can yet pass through my avanir, but of this he cannot (or will not) say, but I am grateful that he has this skill; for thankfully I have not again relived my dark and disturbing dream, for he spoke words of healing within my sáma mind, and now again in my slumber I visited the blissful white city, which by light of moon and silver mist, the night-lights therein mirror the countless shimmering stars of heaven's field. With these lights the shadow in my mind diminished, and I deem now that this vale wherein lies Dolenor's dwelling-place is twice blessed by the Valar: by Irmo of Lórien, Master of Dreams, and his spouse, Estë the Gentle, whose gift is rest.

And mayhap it is indeed the voice of Ulmo that whispered beyond hearing to my very enda, for with Dolenor's talk of the Shadow and Darkness at the forefront of my mind, my thoughts turned to Arda Hastaina, that is Aþāraphelūn Dušamanūðān in the tongue of the Ainur. (And is it by the voice of he of the Aratar that I know this? I have no answer!) But within the terrible history of Arda's marring, I deem I may yet discover the mystery of my own hurt, and perhaps in the writing of all can I recall herein, I might find the hints I need to solve the riddle of my own marring.